


Above Average.

by TooAceForThisShit



Series: Above Average Series [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Miya Atsumu, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Past Abuse, Post-Time Skip, Sakusa Kiyoomi doesn't have good coping mechanisms, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, anime onlys im sorry but ure not lit, gay sakusa kiyoomi, its not as bad as it sounds i just wanted to touch all the bases so i didnt miss anything, just like mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooAceForThisShit/pseuds/TooAceForThisShit
Summary: Atsumu unlocks Kiyoomi’s apartment door without a worry in the world, it’s already late evening which hadn’t originally planned on staying out as late as he did, Hinata tends to leave early and same for Bokuto but after the first two hours they got carried away, and now here he is, removing his shoes carefully, a little tipsy on his feet. The apartment is quiet, it normally is when he returns, Kiyoomi either already showered and is reading in his bedroom.Hanging up his coat, he walks down the short hall to the living room, instead of finding it empty, he walks into a disaster, not just any disaster no, Kiyoomi’s apartment is never a disaster, he walks into an organized disaster, anything that didn’t have a place before when he left six hours ago is spread out on the floor in neat piles, spring coats spread out on the couch, cups that don’t match the other ones in the cupboard on the coffee table, clothes that either don’t fit or were bought recently are spread out on the rug, he stares, and he stares, the longer he stares the less sense it makes.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: Above Average Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111895
Comments: 59
Kudos: 543





	1. Chapter One.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for this ship so pls be gentle, i didnt even ship this ship until like two weeks ago so im sorry if the characterization is off.  
> i wanted kiyoomi angst so i wrote kiyoomi angst with a side of atsumu angst. there will be a few chapters im not sure how many yet seeing as im still editing but its already done, so yeehaw.

Atsumu unlocks Kiyoomi’s apartment door without a worry in the world, it’s already late evening which he hadn’t originally planned on staying out as late as he did, Hinata tends to leave early and same for Bokuto but after the first two hours they got carried away, and now here he is, removing his shoes carefully, a little tipsy on his feet. The apartment is quiet, it normally is when he returns, Kiyoomi either already showered and is reading in his bedroom.

Hanging up his coat, he walks down the short hall to the living room, instead of finding it empty, he walks into a disaster, not just any disaster no, Kiyoomi’s apartment is never a disaster, he walks into an organized disaster, anything that didn’t have a place before when he left six hours ago is spread out on the floor in neat piles, spring coats spread out on the couch, cups that don’t match the other ones in the cupboard on the coffee table, clothes that either don’t fit or were bought recently are spread out on the rug, he stares, and he stares, the longer he stares the less sense it makes. 

Six hours ago when he left Kiyoomi was sitting on the couch legs pressed to his chest, eyes focused on whatever video game he was currently spending his free time on, he had barely looked up when Atsumu had told him he was leaving, and now here he is in all his glory cleaning the floor surrounded by his belongings. 

He doesn’t know how long he stands in the doorway of Kiyoomi’s living room, trying to put two and two together, his brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure out how one of Kiyoomi’s “good days” as he deemed it when he didn’t have to clean the mug he used this morning twice before getting his coffee could turn into this. 

It’s not til Kiyoomi moves from cleaning one spot on the floor to another that it clicks into his brain that he should probably say something, anything to understand what the fuck this is. 

He’s witnessed a lot of Kiyoomi’s moods in the years he’s known him, most of them pissed off but that had mostly been his fault, but in five months they’ve been dating, then the month he’s had a key to Kiyoomi’s, they’ve been practically living together he thought he’d seen it all, but no, here he is a little tipsy watching his boyfriend have an anxiety attack about something he was sure that was cleaned not even two days ago. 

He’s not sure what he should do first, so he goes with his normal greeting. 

“Oi, Omi-kun. I’m back.” As he was expecting, he doesn’t get anything in return, not even a glance, not even a head raise. 

So he walks into the living room stepping carefully over the piles of things surrounding his boyfriend like some kind of seance circle. He watches Kiyoomi’s back tense as he scrubs the floor harsher. He doesn’t dare touch him as he steps up behind him, he walks around him so he’s facing him, not stepping on where he’s currently cleaning, he stands there hoping that’s enough to draw his attention, alas no such thing works. 

He’s decided he hates this. He crouches low, so he’s eye level, not that it matters with the proceedings so far, he falls back criss crossing his legs, he drags his hands over the thighs of his jeans, then a hand through his hair, he’s hating Bokuto more and more he should’ve never let him trick him into drinking more (it’s totally not like he took it as a challenge.) 

He wants to reach out and touch, but he knows that would only escalate things further than they needed to be, he knows all too well what happens when he accidentally touches and Kiyoomi isn’t ready, it happened a lot when they were first dating, and sometimes still when he sleeps over. 

After five months he thought they were finally finding their rhythm. 

Yet something happened and Kiyoomi didn’t think to call him, he thought he had beat it into his head by now that Atsumu didn’t find him a burden, as Kiyoomi had also done for him. 

But Kiyoomi is different. 

So he waits and waits until an idea finally comes to mind, and when it does he feels like a fucking genius. Give him the fucking Nobel prize piece ‘cuz he’s golden. 

“What do you need help with?” Kiyoomi jerks up at that, almost falling back on his ass with the force of it, he stares at him then, eyes distant, it’s only then that Atsumu notices the mask and gloves. 

A furrow comes between Kiyoomi’s brow like he doesn’t understand the question, his eyes straying from Atsumu’s, flickering back to the floor where he’s still bracing himself. 

He sits, he doesn’t stare, he tries to keep his eyes to himself he doesn’t think of himself as the type of person who would change for their partner and in the past, he always felt pity for the people who did, but now sitting there he doesn’t feel pitiful at all, the change was needed, even if he wouldn’t have changed nearly as much if he dating anyone else, this change was a necessity, and it’s not like Kiyoomi asked him to change his personality he just asked him to wash his hands more and to clean up after himself. 

Kiyoomi goes back to his spot on the floor, his body a tense line, “Put the clothes away,” is the only instruction he’s given, which is something he can do easily. He only watches Kiyoomi another moment making sure his breathing doesn’t get harder or he’s not shaking when it's clear he stands, stretching out. 

“Sure thing, Omi-omi.” He excuses himself from the room, headed for the kitchen he first drinks two glasses of water to help sober up quicker, then he washes his hands, and then he goes searching under the sink for bags, then goes to the closet for boxes for the mugs (goodbye chipped mugs) 

Heading back into the living room he starts with the clothes that are they’re giving away, putting them in the hallway so he can take them to a second-hand store first thing in the morning, he doesn’t go through the clothes chosen to be given away and instead of keeping all his focus on what Kiyoomi’s doing still hunched over the one spot. It’s then he starts talking, filling Kiyoomi in on everything he did that evening even if he’s not paying attention it gives him something to do with his mouth so he doesn’t blurt out all the things he wants to say, now is not the time to bombard him with questions he can’t answer right now. 

Not that he would know what to do with those answers now anyway, he’d probably say something he shouldn’t then it’ll get worse, and he doesn’t want it to get worse, so he does what he’s told and a little more, taking care to put the mugs in the box he got, placing them gently in the box which does nothing to deter them from clanking against each other, he keeps talking about Shouyou and how gross he still is with Kageyama, adding on how he doesn’t think they’ll ever get out of the honeymoon phase with a scoff. 

By the time he’s placing the stuff by the door, he’s getting half-hearted hums from Kiyoomi in reply to his words. When he returns to his spot from before, Kiyoomi glares at him which is miles closer to where he was beforehand, he grins at him. 

“Better?” he asks, raising his eyebrow. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t look around to see what he did, the furrow between his brows are back, he shrugs, he watches closely as he goes back to what he’s cleaning, instead of cleaning the same part of the floor he’s moved on to cleaning all the remotes for the TV, anything that is normally in the living room is spread out on a towel for easier disinfection. 

When he doesn’t get a reply, he sighs to himself, and decides his next action is doing the laundry, picking himself up off the floor, he grabs the laundry basket, then the clothing still spread out, and the stuff from the room from today, and heads to the laundry room. He wishes he had the power to fix whatever is troubling Kiyoomi watching is painful, as he closes the washer, he stands there as it starts, staring down at his white-knuckled grip on the side of the machine. 

He can’t remember a time he was like this, this is a Kiyoomi only feeling, which should make him feel pathetic, but it only makes him feel useless in this moment. 

He takes his phone out of his back pocket already calling his brother’s number as he closes the door so the noise doesn’t travel as far. It rings twice before his brother’s voice greets him. 

“What do ya want.” it’s said like a statement, not a question which he chooses to ignore, in the driest voice possible. 

“That’s no way to greet one’s dear, dear brother, ‘Samu,” 

“Oh, right. What. Do. Ya. Want.” he repeats, matter fact. 

“This is why I’m mom’s favourite,” 

“I’m literally closin’ up shop right now, can you get to the point, either say somethin’ about Sakusa or for the love of God call anyone else.” 

He sighs, “How did ya know it was about him.” 

“That’s all you talk about, that or volleyball, and seein’ as it’s late at night, and I know you have no games comin’ up, it’s about him.” A sound of dishes clinking on the other line follows. 

He runs a hand through his hair, pulling it lightly. By the end of the night, all the product in his hair is going to end up on his hands. “Something happened, and I dunno what, I came back from the bar and there he was sittin’ on the floor cleaning the whole house, ‘nd he’s barely fuckin’ talkin’ to me and I don’t have a clue of what to do.” he grips his hair tighter, nevermind he’s going to go fucking bald. 

The other line is quiet, he almost thinks Osamu hung up on him, but when he takes the phone away from his ear it’s still on call. 

“I don’t know what to say to ya, that you don’t already know.” 

Leaning his head on the wall he hits it lightly, “I just, he’s freakin’ out over something and now I’m freakin’ out and that’s gonna help nothin’”

His brother sighs deeply, “Just be there, that’s all you can do right now.” 

“Ya, yeah.” 

They talk for a few more seconds before he hangs up and goes to face the music or in his case his six-foot-four boyfriend who’s sitting in the middle of the floor cleaning like it’s his last night on earth and the only way he’s getting into heaven is if all the controllers are clean. 

He checks the time on his phone, it doesn’t feel like hours since he got home yet the clock is blinking at him, with the time of 12:30 AM, he curses speeding up his steps, because not only will he have one upset Kiyoomi tomorrow he’ll also have a sleep-deprived one and those things mix as well as orange juice and milk. 

The living room is starting to look normal, if not for the shoes still lined up neatly but not where they’re supposed to be right in front of the entrance from the hallway. How does he know this? because of course he almost trips on his rush to get back. He manages to side-step and only with the casualty of his shoulder hitting the wall, with a wince he walks over back to Kiyoomi, who’s moved on from cleaning the remotes (which are now placed on the coffee table in a line) to putting away all their spring coats in the closet. 

“Ready for bed, Kiyoomi?” He leans on the wall beside the closet, rubbing his other arm where he hit it. “I don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m tired as hell.” Kiyoomi doesn’t spare him a glance, too focused on trying to get everything in order, his eyes still distant, lost in his thoughts. 

“No, I still need to put the shoes away, and clean the kitchen,” 

“The kitchens clean, we cleaned it this mornin’ remember?” 

The scowl that gets sent his way could kill a lesser man.

He stops rubbing his arms, letting them drop to his sides, “m not gonna ask what happened, right now alright? I just want ya to know that I’ll help you clean or whatever else you need okay? We can organize everything tomorrow if it will set yer mind at ease ‘kay? Go shower for now, and I’ll put these shoes away,” Kiyoomi stops all at once, his eyes falling to his feet, Atsumu watches him carefully, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

But all he gets is, “Fine.” 

That doesn’t stop the warmth from spreading throughout his body at the thought that he trusts him enough to put the shoes in the right place. Man, he’s really whipped. 

It’s just as he’s passing him that Kiyoomi speaks up, “You’ll shower after, too right?” 

“‘Course, right after you.” 

Kiyoomi nods. 

When he hears the bathroom door close, he slumps against the wall, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, he puts his head in his hands, they’ll be fine, they’ll talk everything out tomorrow, then Kiyoomi will be back to calling him names, and smiling at him with that smile that’s only for him. 

And to think this morning Kiyoomi had let him hold him longer before he went to shower, which now seems so far off. 

He texts his brother an update before he’s putting the shoes away carefully on the rack concealed in the closet, he makes himself busy before he switches the laundry over to the dryer. 

Atsumu stands in the hallway outside the bathroom, scrolling through his phone, trying to keep his mind off of Kiyoomi, and failing miserably, he sinks to the floor, the shower’s still running softly, he contemplates leaving, heading back to his apartment to give Kiyoomi space--but no, he can’t leave not only did he tell him already that he’d shower after him, he doesn’t think he’d be able to sleep anyway. 

He’d rather be here and be useless then be on the other side of town and be useless. When it’s nearing the forty-minute mark he knocks lightly on the bathroom door, “Still alive in there?” 

The door opens, he steps back, rubbing the back of his neck, looking up at him, “Ya good?” 

Kiyoomi doesn’t look him in the eye, only shrugs his shoulders, then walks past him towards the bedroom. Stepping into the stream filled bathroom, he leans out of the door watching as Kiyoomi heads into the room, still hunched in on himself, yet leagues better than when he first returned, he still wishes that he hadn’t left for the bar, it was planned last minute and now it’s ended in this, there’s nothing he can do about that now. 

He closes the door behind himself, the mirror is still fogged up, everything put away neatly that had been on the counter when he left, he sighs who knows how long he was in here just cleaning instead of actually taking care of himself, he’s dating a moron, a perfect moron but a moron nonetheless. 

_ 

After the quickest shower in his life, he finds himself standing outside of the bedroom, the door somehow looking even more daunting than the first night he slept here which he didn’t think was possible. 

He can see Kiyoomi laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, he’s not frowning anymore, still far away from relaxing. 

“Are you going to come in?” 

He jumps, his eyes meeting his dark eyes focused only on him. “Ya sure ya don’t want me to head back to my place?” he walks into the room leaning his back against the wall, “‘Cause I can do that.”  
Kiyoomi shakes his head a lot faster than he thought he would, not even taking time to think about it, his face turning light pink, he looks away at his hands, he sits up in bed. “Don’t leave.” 

He almost wants to tease him for his reaction, only now is not the time, so he crosses the room, and sits down at the edge of the bed, “Ya sure?” 

“Stop asking me, or I will kick you out.” 

He can’t help the grin that spreads across his face at those words, “Like to see you try, beanpole.” 

Kiyoomi scrunches his nose. “Don’t call me that,” 

Cocking his head to the side, “Why not?” he pokes his leg that’s under the covers, “Yer pretty beanpole-y” This is safe teasing, this is fine he reminds himself, no need to treat him like a princess. 

Kiyoomi kicks him which is more of a nudge of his leg with his restricted movement, he ignores this in favour of smiling like an idiot at him, “Embrace yer beanpoleiness, Omi-kun.” he crawls up the bed, and flops down beside him, staring at the side of his face. 

“That’s not a word.” 

“It is now.”

“That’s not how it works, you can’t make up words as you please.” 

“What do ya think all those old ancient guys did? Someone had to make ‘em up.”

He doesn’t know how late they stay up just arguing but it’s the most Kiyoomi’s been like himself all evening and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t treasure this, it doesn’t matter that they pass out eventually with a foot between them if he gets to lay beside him. 

_

When wakefulness seeps in with morning light shining in through the curtains, he grumbles shoving his face into the pillow below him, he slaps the other side of the bed looking for Kiyoomi, “Omi turn off the sun,” he mumbles. 

When he doesn’t get a reply, he sighs rolling onto his back, rubbing his eyes, he turns his head, the bed is already empty, he lays there another moment about to drift off again, when he suddenly jerks awake, stumbling out of bed almost falling on his face when the blankets get tangled.

He steps out of them, on autopilot as he picks them up and dumps them back on the bed, his brain repeating over and over again to find Kiyoomi so he doesn’t stop on in the bathroom like he normally does in the morning to brush his teeth. 

He thankfully doesn’t have to look far, he finds Kiyoomi curled up on the couch, hair still wet from his morning shower, eyes closed tightly. 

He lets out a breath, to calm his panicking, he’s fine, he reassures himself, he hasn’t left the apartment, he hasn't started cleaning again… he was just laying there. Which he doesn’t know if that was better or worse than the cleaning. 

He sits on the floor in front of the couch, coffee table digging into his back, Kiyoomi’s breathing hitches lightly when he realizes that he’s here, his eyes squeezing tighter, before his eyes are opening, a deep shade of black. 

“How long ya been awake?” 

Kiyoomi’s eyes glaze over, “Few hours.” 

He looks at the clock on the wall, it’s displaying six am, he slumps down further into the coffee table, “Why didn’ ya wake me? I could’ve slept out here if ya needed yer space, or I could've at least been awake with ya.” 

Kiyoomi shakes his head, “You were sleeping.” 

He scoffs, “You’ve woken me up before for not cleanin’ up the kitchen.” That had been his fault, seeing as he isn’t the cleanest person when he’s cooking. 

A pout forms on Kiyoomi’s lips, a pout he claims he doesn’t have, “That’s different.” 

“I need my beauty sleep, and you had so rudely woken me up amidst it.” he runs a hand through his hair, that had been the first time that Kiyoomi had come to his dorm, that feels like years ago now. 

All Kiyoomi does is mumble a quiet sorry, then he’s faced with his back, and he can’t help but think he’s fucked up. He didn’t mean now!! Now was different, and he didn’t really mind when it had happened before either honestly. 

“No, no, Omi. I didn’t mean now, I wish you’d woken me up.” he stands up, “C’mon, let’s go back to bed, we don’ need to be up for a few more hours,” he thinks about offering his hand, Kiyoomi looks up at him out of the corner of his eye. He gestures for him to get up. 

“C’mon, I won’t touch ya, you don’t even have to sleep.” 

It only takes a few more seconds before Kiyoomi’s standing and he’s leading him back down the hall, he falls back into bed, well Kiyoomi gives a look of distaste at the blankets state, he pats next to him, reluctantly he joins him, he spreads the blanket out over them both, he turns on his side, he reaches out so his hand is between them not touching. “Better?” 

“Suppose,” Kiyoomi says, eying his hand. 

“I won’t touch ya.” 

Kiyoomi looks at his hand, then back at him, his eyes looking darker than before, the sun coming from the window dancing over his features making his hair look shiny, “The problem with that is I think I do want you to touch me.” He whispers. 

All Atsumu can do is blink slowly at him, waiting for the words to make sense before he’s clearing his throat, his face feeling suspiciously warm, “Why didn’ ya say so?” 

“Because.” is all he supplies him with, his eyes drifting back to his hand. 

“‘Cause?” he prompts. 

“Because, I didn’t know if I could-” he trails off, he nods for him to keep going, “I don’t know if I can handle that right now.” 

He hums thoughtfully, “We can always stop y’know, if it sucks, it sucks we can stop. Whatever’s most comfortable for ya.” 

This time when Kiyoomi talks it’s somehow even quieter, he almost misses it. “What about you though, I want you to be comfortable.” 

“Aw what a softie,” the glare he gets back makes him laugh, he sobers up when he notices that Kiyoomi’s still looking intently back at him, “Don’ get me wrong, I like touchin’ ya, but this ain’t about me, ‘kay? Right now this is about ya.” 

Kiyoomi’s nose scrunches up again, turning away from him with a short huff, so his back faces him. 

“Omi-omi,” he sing-songs, “That’s no way to treat yer boyfriend.” 

The look Kiyoomi sends over his shoulders sends a shiver down his back, and all his boyfriend does is scoff and turn back fully, that’s when he gets the memo, his heart beats into overdrive, as he shuffles over the bed until he’s behind Kiyoomi he wraps his arms around him loosely, his nose meeting the place behind his ear, “Ya good?” He asks. 

The nod Kiyoomi gives is stiff, he almost pulls away if not for the arm that covers his own a moment later, he relaxes himself, letting himself breathe in the scent of Kiyoomi’s shampoo, his hair still slightly damp. “Relax, Kiyoomi.” he mutters at last when he doesn’t get any less tense, he rubs his thumb lightly over his stomach over his shirt, “You’re okay.” 

They lay there for a moment in solitude, he finds himself more relaxed than he’s been since last night, being lulled into silence, finally with Kiyoomi in his arms. 

When he realizes that Kiyoomi hasn’t closed his eyes, staring at the wall, “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he presses a light kiss behind his ear. “If yer thinkin’ about how the kitchen hasn’t been cleaned this morin’ I’m gonna cry.” 

Kiyoomi snorts, “Actually thinking about the disaster the shoes are no doubt in.” 

He squeezes him tighter, “I’ll have y’know I put them away amazingly, and I take offence to that.” he loosens his grip, their fingers intertwining over Kiyoomi’s stomach, his mind drifts, his eyes half-lidded, he doesn’t think he could sleep. 

He thinks the conversation is over until Kiyoomi speaks voice rumbling through his chest, “My mother called.” He says without emotion, Atsumu lays there dumbfounded, he waits for him to add on. 

He doesn’t. 

“Uhh, that’s nice of her?” The hand in his holds his tighter to the point of almost pain, “...Or not?” he adds after the fact, trying to calm him by rubbing his thumb against his. “You don’ have to say anythin’ more if ya don’t want to.” 

Kiyoomi hums, “I will be leaving at the end of the week, then. I will not return until next week.” 

Atsumu freezes in his tracks, he can’t help but sit up and lean over him to see the look on his face, he’s as emotionless as ever, a hint of sadness in his eyes that leaves as soon as he notices he’s looking. “What.” his mouth feels suddenly dry, Kiyoomi’s face doesn’t shift, he simply stares back. 

Kiyoomi looks away first, “It’s not a big deal, I will only miss practise a few days, then I’ll be back--

Atsumu shakes his head, “No, that’s not the thing, yer leavin’ and didn’t think to say anythin’ until now? Not to mention somethin’ about it got ya actin’ weird.” He tries not to raise his voice, Kiyoomi winces, he lowers his voice and goes on, “Tell me what’s goin’ on, Omi.”

Kiyoomi rolls onto his back, his eyes going to the ceiling, he lies there so long he thinks the conversation is over, he lets his hand rest on his stomach lightly, waiting for him to be ready, if he can be ready. 

Kiyoomi’s eyes lock on him for a moment before he goes back to staring at the wall, glaring at it, “She wants the whole family there, my brother had a baby two months ago, and she wishes that all her children were there, so I’m going. It won’t be for long.” 

Atsumu rolls his eyes, “It’s for a week, you know how much attention I need daily,” He whines, Kiyoomi snorts at him, quieter he adds, “Why it got ya actin’ like this though?” 

Kiyoomi lets go of his hand to start fidgeting with his other one, picking at his nails, “She doesn’t understand the--the thing?” 

“The thing?” 

The thing of them dating? The thing of doing volleyball as a career? There are many things--

“Mysophobia.” 

He raises an eyebrow in disbelief not at Kiyoomi but at his mother, “Uhhmm” 

“It’s stupid.” Kiyoomi settles on. 

Atsumu startles, “No, it’s not. How can she not understand?” 

Kiyoomi doesn’t dignify that with an answer, he lightly pushes him away, “I’m going to make breakfast,” is all he says then he’s alone in the room, he wants to follow after and keep asking questions yet all he does is fall back into bed, picking his phone up from the bedside table, he turns it on or tries to but all it does is show him the dead battery symbol. 

He drags himself out of bed, walking slowly to the kitchen, making sure to stop in the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Kiyoomi’s spacing out in front of the tea kettle glaring at it. 

“It’s not gonna get hotter that way.” 

Kiyoomi turns his glare on him, he puts his hands up in surrender, he walks to where the charger is still plugged into the wall, leaving it on the counter he falls into one of the kitchen chairs, he starts twirling a stray pen between his fingers. 

Atsumu rolls a pen between his fingers, finally settling on what he wants to say.

“Hey Omi,” he only hums, “What if I came with ya?”


	2. Chapter Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay heres the second chapter to whatever this is. thank you for reading!

Atsumu starts regretting it as soon as he finds himself standing in a crowded train station, his bag heavy over his shoulder. He still remembers the look that his brother had given him when he found out what he was missing practise for not that he could blame him, there’s very little that can make him miss volleyball even if it’s just practise. In the days leading up to the trip, Kiyoomi had become even tighter wound somehow, spending the remainder of their days beforehand either cleaning or packing, or pacing the length of the apartment. 

Atsumu didn’t understand it all but he for damn sure was going to try, he stayed with him for most of the week after he had agreed to let him come, minus the last two days so he could go home and pack himself, then tell Osamu what was going on, which was an interesting conversation with a lot of teasing, and insults that ended in understanding. 

It’s not like he could just let his boyfriend leave on a trip he seemed convinced would be worse than hell itself. 

Atsumu had tried to get more information out of Kiyoomi as to what he was expecting (hell, he hardly knew he had a brother, and now he’s an Uncle!! What the fuck!!!) (well, he knew he had a brother he just didn’t know much more than that.) Apparently it was a whole family thing this next week, his sister was coming in from America, his other sister was coming in from fucking Australia, and there was a baby. 

Everything was very confusing to him. 

When he first met Kiyoomi he had gotten only child vibes from him, now he’s only freaking out a bit or a lot. Kiyoomi’s only explanation for not being more open about his family was that he wasn’t close with them (surprise surprise.)

He sneaks a glance at Kiyoomi now who’s staring intently at his feet, hands in his pockets, mask in place. They’re waiting on his sister from Australia who’s apparently ‘the annoying one’ in Kiyoomi’s words. 

“So-” 

He gets cut off by the sound of someone yelling, “Kiyoomi!” loudly and without concern for others, he jerks his gaze up, coming face to face with a girl probably only a few years older than him, with a lazy smile plastered on her face, her curls bouncing with her as she comes to a stop in front of them, the first thing he notices is that she’s tall, like at least 5’11. She gives them a lazy smile, a glint in her eye as she takes her brother in. 

“Did you grow taller?” She asks Kiyoomi. 

“No.” 

She grins wider, “Are you sure about that, ‘Yoomi? I haven’t seen you since uh," She says rocking back on her heels before flicking her fingers at him," your first year of high school.” Atsumu gives Kiyoomi a look for that, not that one look could explain that to him, he didn’t realize they weren’t that close like  _ that, _ he may not have the most flourishing relationship with Osamu but they still were always there, and the only reason he’s not close with his sister is because she's so much younger. Kiyoomi’s sister seems to have moved on because when he refocuses she’s staring right at him, she stage-whispers to Kiyoomi, “This guy following you?” 

Atsumu doesn’t wait for Kiyoomi to reply, plastering on a grin, he holds out his hand to shake, “I’m this jerk’s teammate, Miya Atsumu.” this seems to please her because she gives him a lazy smirk. 

“Pleasure, Sakusa Mio.” She shakes his hand quickly before she’s putting her focus back on Kiyoomi, “Mom didn’t say that the teammate you were bringing was hot, now I feel left out of the convo, lil brother.” 

Atsumu can’t help but laugh at the withering stare Kiyoomi gives his sister. “His ego is already big enough without you saying that.” 

Mio only smiles wider, flicking Kiyoomi on the shoulder, then turns on her heel, “Let’s get out of here, I’ve decided I don’t like train stations.” 

She chatters as they struggle to catch up with their suitcases, leading them out of the station and to a car that’s still idling in front of the entrance, she winks at a worker that glares at her for leaving her car running. 

“You, my dear brother you are going to love me, I cleaned the front seat for you and the dash, this was of course before I knew you were bringing a guest because mom only told me when I was leaving.” She grumbles that last bit, ducking into the car. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t seem phased, getting into the front seat next to his sister after putting their stuff in the trunk, Atsumu ends up sitting in the back seat with Mio talking a mile a minute about something he can’t make sense of, Kiyoomi lets her talk and talk. Atsumu finds himself staring at the back of his head, and wondering how underprepared his family is going to be, he doesn’t even know if Kiyoomi told his family that they were dating… 

In no time at all, they’re pulling up outside a big but modest house, the driveway with one car parked in it already. Kiyoomi stares at the house blankly, like he’s waiting for something to happen. 

Mio keeps talking as she gets out and helps them with their bags, he thinks she’s talking about her trips aboard but at this point, she could be talking about dragons and he’d be none the wiser. 

Mio leads them to the front door, the door banging open as she kicks it, “I’m back!” She yells to no one that Atsumu can see. No one comes to greet them, Mio hands him his suitcase, “Dad’s probably in the backyard, I’ll be back.” She said kicking her shoes off with a flourish.

Kiyoomi doesn’t wait for her, he heads up the stairs near the entrance, his shoes lined up neatly, Atsumu follows him as he ascends the stairs, they stop at the top of the stairs to the first door, Kiyoomi sliding the door aside, stepping in. 

The room is small and barren, the only customization in the room is Kiyoomi’s jersey from high school still hanging on a hook, he flicks on the light by the door, they line up their suitcases against the wall, Atsumu placing his carry on bag on top of his, he watches as Kiyoomi stows his backpack in the closet. 

“Omi, when was the last time you were here?” 

Kiyoomi looks at him over his shoulder for a moment before he turns to close his closet door, “High school.” 

Atsumu stands stunned, he jumps back into action when Kiyoomi starts cleaning, helping him change the bedsheets with the ones they brought with them, wiping down the windowsill and the bedside table, by the time they’re done cleaning and showering they fall into the bed, a bed definitely not made for two 6 foot plus people, he ends up half flopped on Kiyoomi and half on the bed, his nose pressed to Kiyoomi’s neck still fresh and warm from his shower. 

“When does your brother get here?” 

Kiyoomi runs a hand lightly through Atsumu’s hair, humming in the back of his throat, “Tomorrow.” 

He kisses his neck lightly, “On a scale of one to a thousand how chaotic is tonight gonna be?” he can hear Kiyoomi roll his eyes. 

He sits up a bit, so he can lean down and look at his boyfriend, he hits his chest lightly, “I’m serious, am gonna have to charm my way out of death, or is it just gonna be lil’ awkward than we’ll be alone.”

Kiyoomi winces and looks away, “A little more than awkward, but no deaths.”Is how he sums it up, he falls back into him, Kiyoomi letting out a grunt at his added weight.

“What did I get myself into,” 

“You wanted to come.” 

Atsumu lets out a breathy laugh, “Ya, I did. Because I care about you, Omi Omi.”

Kiyoomi lets out a huff, he pulls his hair gently, “Thank you.” 

Atsumu smiles to himself and holds Kiyoomi a little tighter, happy to have this time just to be settled as much as he doesn’t want to think about it There's this nagging bit in the back of his brain that’s telling him this isn’t going to end well. 

_

  
  


They’re startled out of their nap some undetermined time later by the sound of a knock at the door, Atsumu’s heart stops in his chest as he jerks up to look at the door, thankfully it’s still closed, he doesn’t know what he would do if their relationship came out like this, grown men don’t exactly cuddle their friends, he rolls of Kiyoomi who lets out a grumble and turns in his sleep. Atsumu walks to the door, fixing his hair, trying to get it to lay somewhat flat. 

He opens the door, and Mio standing upside, rocking back on her heels she looks up at him and salutes, “‘Sup, Kiyoomi in there? He ran away before dad could greet him,” he looks back at the bed Kiyoomi’s still sleeping, his back to the door, his hair sticking up in every direction. 

“Ah, nah. He passed out as soon as he was done cleanin’” Mio raises an eyebrow at him. 

“How’d you get him to nap, Kiyoomi hates napping.” 

Atsumu shrugs, he thinks about all the naps they’ve taken together before, and how it’s one of his favourite things to do with Kiyoomi, he’s much more relaxed afterwards, and relaxed Kiyoomi is his favourite Kiyoomi. “He was tired from the train.” 

Mio nods, turning on her heel once more she goes to step down the stairs but stops to look back at him, “When he wakes up tell him to come down, Mom won’t be back for a few more hours, he’ll want to see Dad before she gets back.” then she’s gone down the stairs with a bounce in her step. 

He closes the door behind her, crawling in behind Kiyoomi he holds him close to his chest, Kiyoomi turns in his arms, eyes barely open, Atsumu can’t help but kiss him, letting his eyes close, he presses chaste kisses to his plant mouth, Kiyoomi sighing happily against his mouth. 

The kisses don’t go any further, his forehead resting against Kiyoomi’s, 

“Let’s go.” 

They spend the next fifteen minutes with a few stolen kisses for good luck and trying getting ready, heading downstairs, Kiyoomi wearing his mask, Mio finds them first in the living rooms doors open wide, she’s sat on the couch with her phone in hand, she looks up at them as they stop in front of the doors, “He’s in the kitchen.” 

Kiyoomi keeps walking down the hallway, heading in after Kiyoomi when he turns into the kitchen, it’s homey and warm, a man sitting at a low table by the window, with a tea cup by his arm and a book spread out in front of him, he looks up as they enter. Atsumu can see Kiyoomi in this man, his hair is salt and pepper and curly, his eyes just as dark, he pushes his glasses up as he stands, his smile small and sweet, Atsumu looks away feeling like he’s intruding. 

“Kiyoomi, I didn’t think you would come,” He talks in a low soft voice, “Can I hug you?” He says stopping in front of his son. 

Atsumu shouldn’t be surprised when Kiyoomi says yes, letting himself be pulled into a loose hug by his father, it only lasts a few seconds before he’s stepping back. He takes his son in for a few more moments hands to himself, just looking at him, taking in his son like he'll disappear before his eyes if he doesn't. Then that same small smile is being refocused in on him.

“You must be Miya,” 

Atsumu feels shocked run up his spine, he tries to keep it off his face, “Yep, that’s me.” So maybe Kiyoomi did say something about them to his parents. 

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve watched all of your games this season, Kiyoomi seems to have really warmed up to you.” He says softly, Atsumu tries not to let the disapoinment show on his face, he loves what he does for a living, but he maybe just wanted things to go a little easier. Kiyoomi's father gestures for them to join him for tea, handing Kiyoomi something to wipe down the table, then setting tea out for them. 

Atsumu is across from Kiyoomi watching as he takes a small sip from his tea. 

“How have you been Kiyoomi?” 

Atsumu wants to know if he hasn’t seen his father for as long as he hasn’t seen his sister. He keeps it to himself, he thinks this is the quietest he’s ever been, but watching Kiyoomi interact with his family makes him feel something, it’s different from what he’s seen before, and he doesn't mind it, the way he interacts with them is still quiet but these are the people that made him who he is. 

“I’ve been fine,” Kiyoomi said,“I’ve only been training.” 

Sakusa-san nods, taking another sip of his tea, “Is that going well?” he directs this question at Atsumu, looking him in the eyes. 

Atsumu almost coughs on his tea not expecting to be talked to so soon, “Ah yeah, it’s been goin’ pretty good.” He wants to say more but it feels as if he’s still imposing, Kiyoomi stares straight back at him as if he can stare into his soul, Atsumu stares right back, taking in the dip between his brows, the anxiety making his hands shake as he brings his cup up to his lips, mask hanging from one ear. 

“How have you been father?” Says turning his sharp eyes back on his father. 

Sakusa-san smiles, eyes crinkling, “I’ve been decent, the garden is good this year, Natsumi is getting the backyard set up with lawn furniture so we’re looking forward to that. And with the new baby, we’re very well.” 

They chat for a few more minutes, when Kiyoomi, the betrayer that he is, excuses himself to the bathroom for a breather from things, still wound up for what's to come, Atsumu wishes it wasn't weird for him to follow him. 

“Thank you for taking care of my son.”

He looks over at him, he’s looking down at his mug grasped between his hands, suddenly Atsumu can’t help but notice the melancholy surrounding him.

Atsumu trying to lighten the mood he laughs. Sakusa-san looks up at him in surprise, "Honestly, don’t tell Kiyoomi, but he’s been takin’ care of me, I’m just tryin’ to keep up.” He smiles at him. 

Kiyoomi may not think it but he does, in all the little things he does, whether it's just making sure he eats well, and he’s hydrated or more serious things like holding him when his insecurities get the better of him or staying up later so he’s not alone with his thoughts. 

Now it’s his turn to be there for him, even if it’s just to keep him tethered to the ground. 

Sakusa-san smiles at him, “He always tried to be caring even if it wasn’t always in his nature.” His eyes get distant as if remembering a time when Kiyoomi was still here, and doing everything in his power to make things a bit better for the people around him. 

Atsumu nods his head, “Ya, he still does that, it’s something I lo—I admire about him.”He prays to a God he doesn’t believe in that his face isn’t as red as it feels, his stupid stupid mouth needs to think before it blows their cover!!

Sakusa-san smiles again, a twinkle in his eye, “I’m glad to hear that, Miya.” his cup gets placed by his book, “I was afraid he wasn’t going to come, he hasn’t spoken to any of us since new years, and hasn’t been back home since high school.” 

Atsumu doesn’t know what to say to that, he takes a sip of his tea to waste more time, hoping that Kiyoomi will return before he has to say something, he sets his teacup down, he doesn’t have to worry about saying anything as Sakusa-san clears his throat, Atsumu drags his look up from his teacup to him, noting his small smile to hide behind.

“Nothing to worry about now, I suppose. He’s home for the time being.” and as cruel as he feels he can’t help but think that Kiyoomi hasn’t thought of this place as home in years. He keeps that to himself, burying it deep in his mind. 

Kiyoomi re-enters the room then mask back in place, eyes on the ground, sitting back down at his spot at the table, Atsumu tries to catch his eye to see if he’s okay but before he can, the front door is opening in the hall and a voice is yelling out that they’re home, Kiyoomi tenses up as soon as he hears it, Sakusa sighs, taping the table a few times than standing. 

“I will be right back.” 

Then they’re alone for a few minutes, Atsumu wants to reach across the table and hold Kiyoomi hand even for a fleeting moment, he stops himself, taking another sip of his tea, Kiyoomi’s staring down at his own cup like it has the answers to the universe hidden inside. 

He tries to ignore the commotion in the front hall, and focus on what’s in front of him. 

“Ya oka--” 

His words die in his throat as an older woman with short hair comes in, placing a bag on the counter before she turns to them, she gives them this levelling look that he thinks he’s only seen on the man sitting across from him from the other side of a net, her eyes are sharp staring at Kiyoomi, Atsumu can’t tell what’s going on behind those eyes, she could be planning his murder for all he knows or she could be thinking about how much she loves her child.

Atsumu's doubting it’s the last one when she keeps staring, then she turns her look to him, he sits up straighter, daring her to say something.

Kiyoomi stands, he doesn’t go far just standing beside Atsumu, it’s the closest he’s been since waking up from his nap, and Atsumu yearns to be able to touch him. For his or Kiyoomi's comfort? he's unsure.

“Mother.” 

“Kiyoomi.” 

It’s tense for a moment, Atsumu afraid to breathe not wanting to draw attention to himself, it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Natsumi he realizes is exactly how he pictured her, he had gotten little out of Kiyoomi mostly names and other baseless facts he wouldn’t really need. 

Akihito - father -retired businessman. 

Tomoko - eldest sister lives in america, unsure of what she does for a living, she has a cat. 

Yota - older brother, has a baby now(?) has a wife probably. 

Mio -older sister, lives in Australia, picked them up from the station, isn’t a great driver, she does something with sea creatures.

And finally last but not least, Natsumi -mother (duh) thinks Kiyoomi’s making up his phobia. 

So far Atsumu likes Mio the best. 

Natsumi gestures for Kiyoomi to come closer, with a roll of her eyes, Atsumu doesn’t try to stop Kiyoomi as much as he wants to, he watches them closely, as she seems to take him in from head to toe. Atsumu never has seen Kiyoomi so sunk in on himself, and he never wants to see it again. He sits tensely in his seat and she observes him with a critical eye. 

Natsumi must not like what she sees because one second she’s staring at Kiyoomi than she pulls off his mask without asking--quite roughly he might add-- and invading his personal space by stepping closer to him, Atsumu grips the side of the table as she lets his mask to the floor, Kiyoomi doesn’t try to stop her as she does all of this like this is the most common thing in the world to them, he flinches lightly but doesn’t step away, Atsumu stands dumbly before he can cross the kitchen and stop whatever this is from continuing. Natsumi is talking and his blood boils. 

“I see you’re still acting silly, you’re twenty-four, Kiyoomi, you shouldn’t still be acting like this.” Atsumu realizes suddenly that this was the reason that Kiyoomi thought he was a burden when they started dating, this is why he wouldn’t let him help with cleaning, or drove himself to panic attacks trying to do things with Atsumu. Atsumu’s glad he put his teacup down he knows he with how white his knuckles are by his side he would have broken it. "A mask really? do you think we're that filthy."

Atsumu wants to yell to say something, but his mouth has stopped working. He watches as Kiyoomi stands there and takes it as she keeps talking, by the end of her words, he’s fuming, and Kiyoomi’s being dragged into a hug by his mother, he doesn’t hug her back, like a lifeless doll in her arms, the difference from his father’s hug and hers makes Atsumu’s skin crawl. 

Natsumi lets go of, after what feels like the longest second of Atsumu’s life, then Natsumi’s patting his shoulder, and saying something Atsumu can’t hear over the ringing in his ears. 

She looks at him, and he feels red hot anger, but all he does is smile his best smile that makes old women swoon, and walk over and hold out his hand, Kiyoomi tense and silent beside him, “I’m Miya Atsumu.” 

“So I’ve heard,” She says the displeasure heard in her voice, that he can’t help but smile wider at her, if she dislikes him, he’s here for Kiyoomi, and if he gets to fuck with her a little that’s just a plus, he doesn’t let it phase him when she doesn’t shake his hand. 

She eyes him a second longer before they’re flickering back over to her son, “Kiyoomi, can I talk to you for a moment. Alone.” it’s not a question, and with one more fleeting look at Kiyoomi, who only nods his consent for him to leave the room, as much as he thinks this is when he'd be needed the most, he smiles weakly and heads into the hall, he reluctantly looks over his shoulder one last time as he leaves, Kiyoomi not breaking eye contact with his mother. 

Atsumu leaves, he heads for the stairs but is stopped by Mio’s voice, who’s still sitting on the couch, her head leaning against the back, as she stares at him, “Where are you going?” 

Atsumu points over his shoulder, “Thought I’d wait upstairs, he’s talkin’ to your mom.” 

She wrinkles her nose up at that, “Ugh,” she sinks into the couch, staring at the ceiling a second before she looks back over at him, “Why are you here?” She asks, Atsumu was waiting for this kind of question, he wasn’t expecting it from Kiyoomi’s sister, he was also expecting it to be said with a lot more anger. 

He shrugs, “Never given up a chance to bother Om--Kiyoomi before why stop now, y’know?” It’s a lie, he can’t say anything about being here for comfort, for being there only for Kiyoomi, that’s not what teammates do. 

Mio hums, her brows furrowing for a moment, then she lets out a small breathless chuckle, “Kiyoomi isn’t the type of person who lets people he finds annoying meet his family.” She stands then, she rolls her shoulders, “I would get out well you can, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, shit’s gonna be ugly this whole week.” She brushes past, he stares after her, his brain yelling at him to ask her what she means. 

“Wait,” he finds himself saying anyway, she turns her eyes flashing with something he can’t read. “How do y’know what’s goin’ to happen?” He knows as soon as he says it that it’s stupid. 

She runs a hand through her hair, “Just a feeling.” She says, his stomach sinks, he decides right away that he hates this family for never learning to communicate. He thought his family was bad but at least they can yell their feelings at each other when it overflows. 

She leaves him in the hall, with a jaunty wink that doesn’t fit the mood. 

He takes a breath, staring up at the ceiling, and thinks for the first time that maybe he’s in over his head, and this is only the first day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated.
> 
> this is something but i hope its an enjoyable something to someone out there! i know im not enjoying reading it back sjdgjiojg 
> 
> Tumblr: two-trucks-in-love
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	3. Chapter Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sexy

Kiyoomi finds him in his room later, opening the door and closing it behind him, Atsumu opens his mouth but shuts it with a click when Kiyoomi sinks to the floor without a second thought, arms wrapped around his legs and head pressed to his knees. 

Atsumu forgets the text conversation he was having and stumbles to his feet, knees feeling weak, he just lets them drop to the floor in front of Kiyoomi hands fluttering out in front of him wanting to touch but not sure if it would be welcomed. 

“I’m fine.” Kiyoomi says, shaking him out of his stupor, he finds himself letting his hands fall to his sides. 

Kiyoomi’s voice is rough and quiet, he doesn’t want to think he was crying before.

“Are ya sure?” His own voice sounds fake to his own ears, this isn’t the way that Miya Atsumu sounds; he doesn’t sound afraid and worried, he swallows, taking a deep breath in through his nose to get his bearings. 

Kiyoomi stands, “I need to shower.” Atsumu watches him as he gathers his things, he stands his legs feeling numb, he reaches out, grasping loosely at Kiyoomi’s shirt. 

“Wait.”

Kiyoomi looks back over at him, and Atsumu’s heart breaks a little, his eyes jump around his whole face making sure he’s okay, his eyes look distant, red with tears threatening to fall, Atsumu opens his mouth to say something, but Kiyoomi shakes his head, he lets his grip go slack. 

He lets himself drop to the bed, hands shaking as he presses them to his forehead, dragging them back through his hair, he takes out his phone from his pocket, he doesn’t have the voice nor the words to say anything so he texts his brother, logically he knows he’s either working or on a date with Suna.

4:56 PM   
Me: did i make the wrong decision? 

4:59 PM 

Ugly clone: which one uve made a lot? 

5:00 PM 

Me: haha could u not?

5:05 PM 

Ugly clone: no its actually impossible for me not to 

5:09 PM 

Me: did i mess up,,,should i have just stayed home,, i dont think omi wants me here

5:12 PM

Ugly clone: did he say he didnt want u there?? 

5:15 PM

Me: not exactly,, but thats the vibe im gettin

5:20 PM 

Ugly clone: hes probably just stressed he always tells u whats on his mind wether u like it or not 

He falls to his side, tucking his knees close to his chest. 

5:26 PM 

Me: what if this time is different?

5:30 PM

Ugly clone: dont over think it, ur brain already small Tsumu 

Atsumu rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling, it’s only then that he realizes that there are glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, each of them having a name of someone from Kiyoomi’s family in childish handwriting, he blinks up at them, something in his chest contracting, his heart beating a little faster thinking of little Kiyoomi trying his best to get the characters right and having his father help him press them to the ceiling. He stares his eyes suddenly feeling hot behind his eyes, he turns his head staring at their luggage. 

The door creaks open and Kiyoomi comes in, looking more put together, placing everything back in his bag, and his other clothes in a plastic bag and tucking it back away in his bag, he turns and looks at him, he gives him something that Atsumu thinks is a smile but it doesn’t make it to his face. 

Atsumu holds out his hand for him to join him in bed, Kiyoomi shakes his head, “Dinner is soon.” 

He groans tilting his head back against the pillows, “and I can’t convince ya to hide in here with me?” Kiyoomi clicks his tongue. 

“I do not think my mother would enjoy that, nor is this a good hiding spot.” 

He sits up, and puts on his best pout, “Ya always ruin my fun, Omi-Omi.” he wants to drag him into bed and lay with him, but all he does is hold out his hands again, “Can I touch you?” 

Kiyoomi thinks about this a moment, before letting out a sigh, he holds out a hand, gently placing it in his, it’s warm from the shower, “Only my hands.” Kiyoomi has a displeased frown on his face, watching as Atsumu runs his own hand over the fingers lightly. 

He opens his mouth and Kiyoomi shushes him, “Do not ask if I’m okay because I do not know, and I can’t answer that right now.” 

“Alright. Can I ask you somethin’ else?” 

Kiyoomi sits down on the side of the bed, Atsumu still grasping his hand like it’s his life line, “I suppose,” 

Atsumu smiles to calm his nerves, hoping it will ease the tension in Kiyoomi's shoulders, and for himself to show that he’s needed for something. “Ya don’t have ta answer this either, but did ya tell yer parents we’re together?” 

Kiyoomi looks away, and Atsumu hates himself watching as the guilt washes over Kiyoomi, he gives his hand a squeeze, Kiyoomi looks over at him and he tries to display that it’s okay, that none of this is his fault. 

Kiyoomi weakly shakes his head, “I--I was going to but I couldn’t.”

Atsumu eyes widen hearing him stutter over his words, he rubs his thumb against his hand, “That’s okay, we can just play up the super gay lookin’ act of sportmenship. That’s what I did when I was in high school.” 

Kiyoomi wrinkes his nose, “If that was you trying not to look gay in high school I have some bad news for you; no one believed you.” Atsumu gasps dramatically. 

“I’ll have ya know, nobody knew, everyone was super shocked.” 

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, “You’re a walking bi disaster and everything you do is tinged by that.” 

Atsumu chooses to ignore that statement, “You are not any better.” 

Kiyoomi scoffs, “I did better than you, my family is still unaware.”He says matter of factly, crossing his legs. 

Atsumu laughs lowly at that, “I don’t think that counts.” 

Kiyoomi gives him a look, “It counts.” 

Atsumu puts his hands in surrender missing the warmth of Kiyoomi’s hand as soon as he lets it go, Kiyoomi is already putting on hand sanitizer. Kiyoomi’s phone buzzes on the nightstand. “Check that for me?” 

Atsumu picks it up. The name displaying Sakusa Mio and all it says is: dinner, princling. Atsumu stores that nickname away for later, he knows as soon as he delivers the news that the mood will be ruined. 

“Ah, it’s yer sister, saying we gotta head down for dinner.” 

Kiyoomi nods, standing from the bed, Atsumu stands fixing his hair as he does trying to get it not to stick up, he stops Kiyoomi before he can leave the room, “wait.” 

Kiyoomi looks back at him, “Can I kiss ya, Omi? I won’t touch ya anywhere else.” 

Kiyoomi sizes him up a moment, he nods. Atsumu with renewed energy steps closer, leaning up lightly and pressing his lips to his, he knows his own lips are chapped from the hours on the train of biting them, it only lasts a second before he’s pulling away, Kiyoomi takes a big breath, putting on his war face Atsumu follows behind like he always will. 

_

Atsumu decies the second that all the food is placed at the table, and everyone sitting down, is he made the right decision but that doesn’t mean it’s not painful. It’s like glass falling on him and sitting there well the little pieces are pulled out of his skin one agonzing silver at time. 

They’ve only been sat down for five minutes and in that time he’s thought about standing up and punching Sakusa Natsumi three times, Kiyoomi’s just started sanitizing his cutlery, the look Natsumi is giving him is that of disdain, Atsumu wants to scream. 

She seems to be the only one bothered too which is the thing that gets to him, his father just sits there staring down at his food, Mio is on her phone that’s placed beside her plate like it isn’t happening. Atsumu wants to say something but he just grips his pants tighter, they’ve already started eating, Atsumu always waits for Kiyoomi before he starts, it’s a little stupid but it feels like something he can’t stop he’s been doing it since their first date, and now isn’t the time. 

When he’s done he starts eating, the conversation at the table is about Mio’s travels and her work, all of it going in one ear and out the other, Kiyoomi’s asking her questions, while their parents are silent, giving each other a look every once and while. 

The only sound he can focus on is the sound of the chopsticks on the plates and bowls, he hates being quiet, he wants to talk, Kiyoomi keeps sending him looks, like reassuring himself that he’s here, or making sure he doesn't make a fool of himself and get them both kicked out in the aftermath, which has happened on a number of occasions that he doesn’t regret.

He only realizes there’s a lull in the conversation when someone clears their throat, he looks up and sees Natsumi staring at him, she only stares, taking a sip of her water, “So, Miya how do you know my son.” 

He can’t help the quizzical look that comes to his face, assuming she had already known, “Ah volleyball?” 

Natsumi lets out a long-suffering breathe, “Volleyball.” 

Kiyoomi cuts it then, “Yes, volleyball, mother. Remember the thing I do as a job and that I have done since elementary.” 

Natsumi gives Kiyoomi a sour look, “I know, dear. I just don’t think it’s a long time career, you only have a few more years left. Not to mention the risk of injuries, I’m just looking out for you” Atsumu could taste the condescension in his mouth, he grit his teeth. 

No one speaks then Kiyoomi’s father speaks up for the first time that night, it’s not with words Atsumu hopes for, “Mio how is that boyfriend of yours?” 

Mio laughs this short thing, putting down her cup she wipes her face on her arm, Kiyoomi gives her a disgusted look, “He’s no longer, haven’t been seeing anyone for a year, oh father of mine.” 

Akihito lets out a breath, giving his daughter a look, then smiles softly at her, “You’ll find someone, do not worry.” 

Mio rolls her eyes, “I’m not worried is the thing, I don’t need a boyfriend, I’m fulfilled.” She picks up her chopsticks twirling them in her fingers a moment, she gives Kiyoomi a look, “Unlike some people I’ve actually dated.” 

Akihito lets out a breathless laugh, “Kiyoomi doesn’t need to date right now, he’s still young.” 

Mio gives him a dirty look, “So ‘Yoomi’s young but I need to date? I’m only two years older.” 

“That’s not what I meant Mio, I was just wondering if you and him were still together.” 

“I know, dad. I just wanted to bother you and I did--

“Actually, Kiyoomi.” Natsumi rests her chopsticks on the side of her bowl, “There’s a very nice girl down the street, I think she’d be perfect for you, she knows how to cook, she’s quiet, she’s just graduated a few years back, she’s a teacher down at the elementary school now--” 

Mio lets out a chortle beside him, either from the idea of Kiyoomi being set up or just the idea of Kiyoomi dating, either way, it reminds Atsumu of months ago when he thought the same thing, and he has to keep himself from laughing, he bites his lip, looking intently down at his plate, Kiyoomi kicks him lightly in the shin, he bites his lip harder. 

“Don’t interrupt Mio, anyway she’s going to be coming around one of the days you’re visiting.” 

Kiyoomi shakes his head, “That’s really not necessary--” 

“Dear, you’re meeting with her, that's the end of it.” 

Atsumu stares at the side of Kiyoomi’s face, watching as it contorts the lightest bit then it blanks out, and he’s neutral. “Yes, mother.” 

It goes back to quiet, Atsumu moves his foot so it’s touching Kiyoomi’s shin, Kiyoomi looks up at him, he smiles at him, then goes back to eating quietly, well the talk of Mio’s old boyfriend becomes old news now the topics onto the new baby than to the arrival of Tomoko the eldest sister. 

“Tomoko said she’d be by in the morning throughout the afternoon, she’s been mostly sleeping the last few days to get herself reacquainted with being here,” Natsumi says as they’re nearing the end of dinner.

Atsumu can’t stop bouncing his leg, and stealing looks at Kiyoomi trying not to give himself away, Kiyoomi keeps catching him anyway and kicking him in the shin, he focuses on that point of contact, he hopes it’s as comforting for Kiyoomi. 

It’s only when it’s done and Mio’s called into the kitchen with her mother to clean up, saying it’s her turn today, they clear the table, Akihito retires to the living room and it’s only them left sitting there in their small dining room, Atsumu lays his hand out on the table, Kiyoomi takes it in his. 

“A girl, huh?” he can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips, teasing. 

Kiyoomi grunts frowning, “I don’t know where she comes up with these things, it’s been months.” 

Atsumu frowns at that, “Months?” 

Kiyoomi rubs his thumb across his knuckles to calm him, Atsumu wants to fall into him, “She’s hasn’t called me in months, and now she wants me to come home and meet my brother’s baby, and meet this girl.” he doesn’t look up from their hands. 

Atsumu sighs, he leans towards Kiyoomi supporting himself on the table he whispers, “No offence, I’m not a big fan of your mom.” 

Kiyoomi lets out a tiny laugh, “None taken, I’m not exactly her biggest fan right now either.” 

“Can we go upstairs now,” 

“Oh god, yes.” 

Atsumu waits in the hall as Kiyoomi tells his family that he’s going upstairs for the rest of the night still being tired from their trip, and that he’ll see all of them in the morning, Atsumu rocks back on his heels, feeling dumb for not bringing his phone down here with him. 

When Kiyoomi comes back into the hall, they wordlessly head back upstairs, Kiyoomi off to take another shower as soon as there safely back, he doesn’t question it, he sits in the hall outside of the bathroom waiting for his turn. 

Trying to stick so some kind of normalcy, this is how it is every time he spends at Kiyoomi’s they both shower before bed, they fall into bed, they start off with space between them then end up pressed together, Kiyoomi is always cold and always blames it on that, but Atsumu blames it on wanting to be close and not having the words, he teases him every time nonetheless. 

If last year Atsumu knew he’d be dating Kiyoomi he would’ve laughed in his face, he scrolls through his phone, texts Hinata and Bokuto back, thinks about texting his own mom wanting to know there are still good parents out there, he doesn’t. 

When Kiyoomi comes out, he stands he showers quickly as he can without missing any parts of his body, he swears Kiyoomi knows when he showers halfheartedly, he snorts at the thought. 

When he heads into the room he can’t help but notice the new sheets on the bed, and how tidy their things are, he looks over everything, he doesn’t say anything, he looks at Kiyoomi who’s curled like he’s the only thing holding his pieces together. 

He lays down behind him without touching, the lights already off, the stars on the ceiling, don’t glow anymore but he can see the faint outline of them, “Omi.” 

He grunts.

“Why isn’t your mom’s name on the stars?” He whispers, the darkness asking him to keep quiet so he does, Kiyoomi turns onto his back, he stares, it feels like an eternity before he speaks. 

“I forgot those were there.” 

Atsumu looks at him out of the corner of his eye, he can see his nose, how strong his jaw is, he wishes he could see his eyes. 

Kiyoomi reaches his arm up to the stars like he’s waiting for them to touch him back, just a little closer. “I did this after they took me to therapist after therapist and still didn’t know what to do, after that, my mom didn’t treat me the same, so I suppose I treated her differently in turn.” 

Atsumu reaches for his hand, interlacing their fingers, his hands are soft and cold to the touch. “I’m sorry.” 

He can hear the ruffle of the pillows moving, feeling Kiyoomi’s eyes on him, he keeps his eyes on their hands, how the darkness makes Kiyoomi’s skin look as if it glows. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, it’s in the past.” It’s said so close to his ear he can feel the breath on the side of his face. 

Atsumu turns his head then, their hands fall between them, their noses brush together, Kiyoomi’s eyes look like dark pits of nothing, and everything, black holes he’d be afraid to get trapped in if he weren’t already so consumed by him. “It doesn’t mean it can’t hurt.”

“I didn’t say it doesn’t hurt.” their lips brush together, they just stay touching for a second, Atsumu doesn’t know when his eyes are closed. 

He kisses Kiyoomi again, slow and soft, their hands held tightly between them. He feels him stiffen up next to him, his breathes coming in a little shakier.

“Wait.” Kiyoomi breathes between them, his eyes open, he moves his face a little ways away from him. 

“Are ya okay?” 

He more so feels the shake of Kiyoomi’s head then sees it, his breath stutters out, “I don’t think I can touch tonight.” 

Atsumu lets go of his hand with one final squeeze, he rolls on to his side, watching as Kiyoomi breathes, he doesn’t ask if he needs to sleep on the floor. He closes his eyes, and tries not to think about tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! more to come soon! 
> 
> thanku for all the sweet comments, and thank you for already 80 kudos, yall are the best
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	4. Chapter Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER FOUR GOT CUT SHORT, I DIDNT NOTICE AT THE TIME OF UPDATE SO IF U SEE THIS AGAIN ON THE FRONT PAGE THAT IS WHY

Atsumu wakes up alone, he blinks his eyes open, he’s still facing the wall and Kiyoomi’s gone. None of this would be weird if he didn’t know Kiyoomi, but he knows Kiyoomi and he knows for a fact that he sleeps in and he also knows that he isn’t a morning person, he doesn’t willingly get up unless he absolutely has to for volleyball. 

He rolls onto his back, stares at the ceiling, grabs his phone from the charger, and doesn’t think about how Kiyoomi’s too wound up to sleep in to his normal time, he scrolls through his texts mostly his brother sending him vaguely threatening texts that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve them, and a few memes he’s seen before, he states as much and gets more threatens, ah family. 

He has texts from both his parents, a message from his mom that he better be looking after himself and Kiyoomi with hearts at the end, and one from his dad that just says; be smart. 

He sends them both texts, promising to message later, then rolls out of bed, getting dressed quickly he heads to the bathroom to wash up, then heads down stairs for coffee, and maybe for his boyfriend. 

Thankfully the rest of the Sakusa family doesn’t have Kiyoomi’s hatred for coffee seeing as there’s still coffee in the coffee pot, he finishes pouring his coffee and it’s only then that he realizes there’s someone else in the kitchen, someone he hasn’t met sitting at the table drinking from her own coffee mug, she raises in eyebrow at her. 

He points to himself dumbly, “Miya Atsumu.” 

She snorts, and then promptly points to herself, “Sakusa Tomoko.” 

He observes her, her hair is long and falling in waves over her shoulders, glasses on her face, she has a small mole next to her mouth, eyeliner lining her eyes.

He sits down in front of her taking another sip of his coffee, he goes back on his phone scrolling through it randomly, trying to ignore the eyes still trained on him. 

“So, you’re the boy Kiyoomi brought home,” her voice is deep and rough, she doesn’t smile at all as he looks up at her with a smile on his own face. 

“Ya, I am.” 

She nods, her hands still on her mug, “It really says something when I’ve met you before I’ve seen my own brother yet today.” 

He stares up at her, confused. 

“He apparently left to go running not sure when he only left a note.” 

Atsumu opens drops into an ‘O’ nodding, “Ya, he does that.” 

She hums to herself, “I suppose I wouldn’t know what he does anymore, I haven’t seen him since his last year of middle school, I’m assuming he’s an adult now.” 

He runs a hand through his hair, “He has his moments.” 

Tomoko laughs lowly, “He’s quite good at what he does, isn’t he?” 

He nods, “Best of the best. One of my best spikers.” 

Tomoko nods along, “Yes, you’re the setter right? I’m afraid I don’t know a lot about volleyball, but I’ve watched your matches when I could, I watched last year when you guys made it to the olympics, very impressive.” Tomoko has this air to her that she doesn’t praise very often, in the same respect as her little brother, now that he thinks about it she’s the one he takes after the most personality wise, sharp and to the point, asking questions and giving you it right out front. 

Atsumu watches her closely as she takes another sip of her coffee, her phone laid out beside her, that she glances over every once in a while. 

“America huh?” 

She shrugs her shoulders, “Yes, I got an offer after schooling I couldn’t refuse, I’ve been there for many years now.” 

Atsumu nods understanding getting recruited right out of high school. “All I’ve known is volleyball, so I get it.” 

She picks are her painted nails, “Yes, it’s quiet like that-” 

Kiyoomi enters then, sweaty and out of breath, he’s wearing his mask and that horrible bright coloured sweater from high school, he glares at it in spite, evil jacket that still makes his boyfriend attractive. “Oh, you’re awake.” 

“Don’t sound so thrilled Omi Omi, I had to wake up alone,” 

Kiyoomi doesn’t deem him with a reply, his eyes settling in on his sister, “Tomoko.” 

“Brother, It’s been awhile.” She regards him with the same look. 

“Yes, years,” 

“Go shower, join us afterwards, I will not harm your teammate.” 

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes at her, and heads for the shower without a word. 

Atsumu feels like there was a conversation he missed out on, he takes another sip of coffee, pulling up his chat with his brother. 

10:09 AM 

Me: samu its fucking weird here

Me: theres no yelling,,, theres passive aggressiveness and silent convos 

10:11 AM

Ugly clone: people tend to have different families. 

10:12 AM

Me: it doesnt mean its not weird!!! 

10:13 AM

Ugly clone: oh yah its fucked, i think rins mom hates me. 

10:15 AM 

Me: ure easy to hate <3 

10:18 AM

Ugly clone: shut ur fucking face </3

They sit in silence both on their phones, Atsumu doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything, he sends Osamu more memes that he knows his brother hasn’t seen before, which causes his brother to send him more shitty ones that were popular years ago that he rolls his eyes at. Time passes slowly, but not slow enough because before he knows it- 

Tomoko clears her throat, he jerks up. “I’m unaware as to why you’re visiting.” 

Atsumu opens his mouth to reply, but before he can Kiyoomi’s sweeping into the room smelling of vanilla, sitting down beside them, “He’s my boyfriend,” he says simply like he didn’t just implode, his eyes skirting quickly back to Tomoko who’s neutral faced. 

“Ah, I see.” her face doesn’t change, in fact she doesn’t seem shocked at all, “That would explain, our parents do not know.” she says matter of factly, she looks at Kiyoomi studying him, “Very well, I will not say anything.”

her eyes turn back to him, “It is nicer to meet you, I suppose. I can not give you the shovel talk because I do not care, and I don’t know Kiyoomi enough to say anything.” 

Atsumu feels as if he can breathe deeper. “It’s nice to meet you too,” He gives her a bigger smile, not forced choosing to ignore the rest of her sentence. 

Tomoko gives him a barely there smile that leaves as soon as he notices she takes a sip, then she turns to her brother, “Are you well?” 

“Yes, I am. Are you?” 

She nods, “I am, everything is well, I am working, my life partner recently moved in together, she is also well.” 

Kiyoomi nods at this, and Atsumu sits there and stares. 

“Close your mouth, Miya, You’ll catch flies.” 

-

Atsumu thought the morning was going well and it was, the conversation was pleasant and calm, Atsumu cutting in to make jokes that got him two matching looks of disdain that made him smile wider, of course though it couldn’t last, when Tomoko decided she would join her father in the garden, Natsumi walked into the kitchen, reading glasses pressed back into her hair. 

Atsumu can already taste the bullshit she’s about to spout before she even opens her mouth. 

“Ah, Kiyoomi dear, you should really get those pesky things removed.” She said, gesturing to her forehead, where Kiyoomi’s forehead is currently more on display with his hair brushed back away from his face from his shower. 

“I can recommend a dermatologist.” She says helpfully, placing her mug in the sink to be washed later. 

Atsumu opens his mouth to tell her off loudly, and may he mention rudely. He crosses his arms across his chest. 

Kiyoomi presses a hand to his leg as a warning, letting go and resting his arms on the table, “Mother, that won’t be necessary. I don’t mind them.” 

This seems to displease her, her face though perfectly blank, she stares at her son, waiting for him to correct himself, when nothing comes, she lets out a loud sigh, “Very well, dear. I’ll send you the name of the doctor anyway, just in case. You never know, I know I went through with it when your grandmother suggested the same for me and I am forever grateful for that.” 

Atsumu wants to bang his head violently against the table, Kiyoomi only hums unbothered, his eyes going distant for only a second then he’s back and he’s looking up at his mouth from his cushion, “Of course.” 

Natsumi lightents up at that, then she’s walking closer, and tipping Kiyoomi’s head back, Kiyoomi immediately tenses up but doesn’t shove her away, her bare hands touch his face, brushing his hair back further, she touches his cheeks then his forehead, staring at the moles like they’re the devils blemishes, and Atsumu wants to throw up but he can’t look away. 

She releases him from her hold, she presses a kiss to his cheek, then she’s swiping out of the room. Kiyoomi sits still for only a moment, then he’s standing robotically, Atsumu stands as well, watching him closely, he’s not sure what he’s waiting for, for him to explode and start yelling, but he only calmly walks to the hall, Atsumu trails after him, he walks into the bathroom, and Atsumu watches in slow motion as he empties his stomach into the toilet, he’s trembling like his body just no caught up with it. 

Atsumu rushes in after him, his body kicking into high gear, he closes the bathroom door behind him, his hands are shaking, he grabs a cloth and wets it in the sink, before sinking to his knees, Kiyoomi’s stopped and is sitting frozen, paler than normal. 

“Baby, here wipe yer face.” The cloth is taken from his hands, they don’t touch, Kiyoomi wipes his face, his eyes are distant this time, he falls against the wall like his strings were cut after, cloth falling to the floor with a wet slap. 

Atsumu watches him, waiting, “Ahm, “Samu was talkin’ about…” all he can think about is calming him down, so he starts talking about his brother and their conversations, and his mother, anything to fill the look on Kiyoomi’s face with something else, Atsumu needs this too, he rambles, and he keeps going.

By the time Kiyoomi’s starting to calm down Atsumu’s ass is going numb, and his back hurts from leaning against the door, Kiyoomi’s eyes are half-lidded, head leaning back to the wall as if it were suddenly too heavy to hold up anymore on his own. 

Atsumu’s own throat is sore from talking too long which he didn’t think was possible. KIyoomi looks as if he hasn’t slept at all, and besides helping get a toothbrush ready with toothpaste he hasn’t done anything else, barely moved from his spot. 

The bathroom smells of cleaning products when he notices Kiyoomi getting twitchy, he watches him and he aches to comfort him with touch, but he doesn’t. “Do ya wanna move upstairs? I’ll help ya?” Kiyoomi shakes his head weakly. 

“Ya sure Omi-kun. Ya can catch ya up on some sleep?” 

Kiyoomi hums, his eyes blinking closed then opened. 

“C’mon Omi.” He stands, his back and legs screaming at him as he does so, he almost offers his hand but he just gets the door as Kiyoomi stumbles to his feet, he catches his sleeve leading him up the stairs and to his room, helping him change out of his close, putting on one of his own loose shirts, that a worn out yellow that’s Kiyoomi’s favourite to steal of his because of how soft it is. 

Kiyoomi falls into bed, and curls in on himself, arms around his head, knees to his chest. “Do ya need me to stay?” Kiyoomi nods, Atsumu sits, on the side of the bed. 

Kiyoomi reaches out blindly for him, pulling him further into the bed with strength Atsumu always forgets, Kiyoomi’s face presses into the space between his neck and his shoulder, his breath his uneven and shaky, “Ya don’t have to force yerself to touch me.” Kiyoomi shakes his head. 

“No, I--I need you.” 

That shuts him up, he wraps an arm lightly over Kiyoomi’s shoulder, Kiyoomi runs a hand through his hair, hand getting caught in loose curls, Kiyoomi’s body slowly starts to relax, his lips press lightly to his neck in thanks. 

Atsumu breathes deeply, hoping his deep breathing will make Kiyoomi breathe better. 

-

When afternoon rolls around, Kiyoomi quietly gets up, leaving for the bathroom for a few minutes, Atsumu dials his mother’s number, she picks up on the second ring. 

“Hello, to a child I love just as much as my others.” 

“Ya know when ya answer the phone like that it makes it sound you don’t love me as much?” 

His mother laughs loudly and sweetly, “Oh, honey. I’m just teasin’ ya.” 

He pouts at the ceiling, “Mommm,” he whines. 

“What is it “Tsumu? Do I need to yell at yer brother again--” 

“No, Mom. I told you I was meeting Kiyoomi’s parents, right?”

“Of course. Which I'm still not over by the way. I called dibs then yer father did and you lied.” 

Atsumu sits up in bed, “It’s not like I planned for his parents-” 

“No, it’s fine, but I’m expectin’ you to bring him ‘round after, ‘kay?” 

He nods even though he knows she can’t see him, “Yah of course.” He sighs, letting his shoulders drop, “Mom, I’m freakin’ out tho.” 

“Ah love, why is that?” She sounds concerned about all the lightless swiping out being replaced by the mom that held him when he cried after his first girlfriend broke up with him, and the one that held his hair back when he caught the flu and brought him soup when he was too dizzy to walk. 

He runs a hand through his hair, putting his elbow on his knee, pressing his phone tighter to his ear, “I didn’t think it would be this bad, Omi’s mom isn’t nice to him at all, she wants to change everythin’ about him,” He shivers, “She just doesn’t listen to a word out of his mouth and all the rest of his family acts as if it’s not happenin’ and it’s only the first full day with ‘em and I dunno if i can do it.” He rubs his eye with his free hand. 

“That’s heartbreakin’ sweetheart, I’m sorry you have to watch that, are they are least supportive of yer relationship?” 

He laughs wetly, “No, they don’t even know.” Since when did he sound so weak, God.

“Oh no, okay well, I’m gonna need ya to do somethin’ for me alright?” 

He nods against his hand trying to force the wetness back into his eye socket, he refuses to cry, he’s not going to do that. Kiyoomi needs him. 

“Talk to Kiyoomi-kun alright? Ya need to tell him how yer feelin’ ok? I also need to tell him that yer mom is lookin’ out for him okay? Tell him I can’t wait to meet him as yer boyfriend, no secrets. I love you, Atsumu. Call or text me later, alrighty? Or I'll get yer brother to yell at ya.” Atsumu nods weakly, he can feel the water gathering at his waterline, he tries to take it all to heart but he doesn’t know what to do. 

As soon as he hangs up Kiyoomi walks into the room looking more put together, he doesn’t have his mask in place, he’s looking down at his phone. 

“How ya feelin’?” 

Kiyoomi waves him off, “Fine. Uh we need to head down, my brother’s here.” 

“Ya don’t look fine,” He says, staring at his skin that is still paler than normal, he wants to wrap him up in two more sweaters over the one he’s currently wearing. 

Kiyoomi gives him a sad look, he stares at him a moment, he slumps in on himself, shoving his hands into his pockets with his phone, “I’m sorry, Atsumu. I shouldn’t have agreed to let you come, this was selfish.” 

He stands, waving his hands around, like he can wipe the thought from his brain, “No, no.” He reaches him, he covers his sweater covered wrists with his hands, “I don’t know if I would’ve done if I knew ya were here by yerself.” he rubs his thumbs across the fabric of his sweater, “It’s alright,” he smiles. 

“We’ll talk about this after more in depth ok? We’ll talk more ‘bout it after we meet that cute niece of yers.” Kiyoomi nods at him, eyes wide. 

_

When they get downstairs they find the living room filled with Kiyoomi’s close family, all with a man and women Atsumu hasn’t met yet, the man he assumes is Kiyoomi’s brother with the dark eyes and the black hair that’s curly and already greying slightly, sat beside a small women with dyed brown hair and straight bangs, a small baby in her arms that she’s smiling down at with such love he can see it. 

Mio’s sat next to them, poking the babies nose and cooing at her, Kiyoomi’s parents are sat on the couch across from them close together but not touching, looking on with happiness written in their features. 

Tomoko is stood in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, she watches on not smiling nor happy but with a soft look in her eyes that’s barely noticeable, Atsumu blames it on being able to read Kiyoomi that he notices at all. 

Kiyoomi and him stand in the doorway, there’s not much else for them to sit so they watch from there, unnoticed for the moment being, it’s peaceful which Atsumu wouldn’t think possible but he blames it on the birth of Natsumi’s first grandchild that she hasn’t gotten up in arms about the sweater Kiyoomi’s wearing or the way he’s breathing. 

It doesn’t take long though for Kiyoomi’s brother to catch them in the door, he stands right away, Atsumu looks up at him with wide eyes, not thinking it would be possible for him to meet someone taller than Kiyoomi in the safety of his home, but he was mistaken, the man has got to be like 6’7. 

Holy fuck he hates him the most. 

“Kiyoomi,” his brother says cheerfully, smiling creasing his face, smile lines pulling, “How are you?” he doesn’t wait for a reply before he’s pulling his brother into his arms and holding him there tightly for a moment, pulling way with his hands on his shoulders before he jerks back from touching him. 

“Fuck, I forgot, you okay?” 

Kiyoomi waves him off, but his face looking more ashen than before, he lets out a breath, “It’s fine, Yota-” 

“Please, don’t indulge him Yota, in his delusions.” She cuts in with a dark look in her eye. 

Atsumu can’t contain the glare he sends her way, with full hatred, only realizing what he’s doing when Yota starts talking again. 

“Mom, It’s fine, he likes his personal space and I can respect that no skin of my back, unless I forget,” he says with a self depleting laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, he ducks his head, “I am sorry about that.”

Kiyoomi surprises him and touches his Yota’s clothed forearm, from Yota’s face he’s taken aback as well, “It’s okay, Yota.” 

Things calm down a little after that, even if Natsumi keeps sending them dirty looks, most of the conversation is focused on Chiyo and the baby Tsubame. They stay standing in the entrance, watching everything play out. 

It’s nearing late afternoon, when Yota looks up he pats the seat next to him, “Come here Kiyoomi, do you want to hold the baby? She’s clean I swear.” he’s looking at Kiyoomi with his hopeful look. 

Kiyoomi sighs, sitting on the couch next to his brother making sure they’re not touching. 

“Okay, I’m asking you to hold my newborn daughter so please act a little excited instead of giving me that look like I killed your dog.” Kiyoomi gives him a weak smile that’s so fake it's painful to look at, Atsumu stifles his laughter in his sleeve. 

Yota hums, cradling his daughter in his arms as he squints at his brother’s face, “Eh, good enough, we’ll work on it.” He presses a light kiss to the babies head, before gently placing him in Kiyoomi’s arms. 

Atsumu watches as he stares at the baby with an unreadable look, watches and watches, until he cracks a barely there smile, and Atsumu’s heart swells. 

Kiyoomi still only touches her where the blanket is wrapped around her and mostly resting on his knees like he’s afraid he’ll hurt her if he actually holds her to his chest. 

He catches Natsumi’s eyes on him, he holds her eyes then she looks away back to her son, she doesn’t say anything, but he can tell she wants to. 

He ignores this as much as he can focusing on his boyfriend holding his niece for the first time, the baby looking up at him with big dark eyes, and little tufts of black curls in the making. 

The afternoon drifts away, and soon enough they’re all sitting at the table with chairs bought in from the garage so there’s enough room for everyone, the baby upstairs asleep in Yota’s old room. 

After introductions when Yota realizes he doesn’t know when things go as smooth as they can, when they’re halfway through dinner things of course hit the fan. The conversation was mostly mondain and simple, Yota’s wife Chiyo mostly talking about the baby and how she’s been faring the last few months, Yota asking his brother questions like he never thought they’d be having a sit down dinner again well Kiyoomi replies quietly with questions of his own, Atsumu mostly left to his own devices talking mostly to Akihito with small talk or tapping Kiyoomi on the leg with his leg to bother him. 

Atsumu almost feels bad for Kiyoomi’s siblings realizing how much life they missed in their younger brother’s life, but then he thinks about how all of them just sit there and ignore all the things Natsumi says to him, and he knows that it’s hard when standing up to your parents but he watching someone he cares about get the shit end of the stick is not something he wants to ever see again. 

He just wishes at least Akihito would say something, but he sits there docile as Natsumi throws words at Kiyoomi. 

He almost breaks his chopsticks when Natsumi says another passive aggressive thing about Kiyoomi’s hair this time. 

But no, no it gets worse from there, because Yota Kiyoomi’s lovely brother asks Atsumu something. 

“Ah, so Miya-san, you’re Kiyoomi’s teammate right?” Atsumu nods at this, “Why are you here-- I mean like it doesn’t matter really--I was just curious, Kiyoomi’s never brought anyone home before,” Yota winces after the last bit, looking like he wishes he could take it back, seeing as he hasn’t seen his brother for years in person. 

Yet before Atsumu can say his standard here to bother Kiyoomi at home as fake as it sounds, Kiyoomi cuts him off. That bastard. 

“He’s my boyfriend.” 

Atsumu knows he’s gaping but he can’t stop staring at his boyfriend with wide eyes as he just continues eating, like he just said, ‘huh sure there are a lot of bugs out this year’ instead of outing them to his family. 

Atsumu’s been out for years, hell he didn’t even need to come out, he remembers coming home one day and declaring to his mother at the age of fourteen that he had a boyfriend and she could deal with it, which prompted her to start laughing uncontrollably, then her pulling her into his arms and telling him she’s okay with it, and that he should clear the search history better next time if he wanted to have a dramatic coming out. 

He doesn’t mind the way he did it; he just minds the implications of all the factors right now in this moment. 

The table seems to halt all expect for Tomoko who looks just as bored as her brother, Natsumi’s staring at Atsumu likes she’s the dirt under her shoe, Akihito is staring at his son with a raised eyebrow, Yota’s mouth his opening and closing like a fish, and Chiyo is talking softly to her husband in quick whispers. 

Natsumi puts her chopsticks down, and everything seems to resume slowly around her, she clears her throat and tips her head to the side, “Do want to repeat that, Kiyoomi. I think I misheard.” It sounds like a challenge. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t raise to the bait, barely lifting his head to acknowledge her, and Atsumu should really stop thinking about how much he wants to kiss his stupid boyfriend right on his stupid lips, maybe he is rubbing off on Kiyoomi with that superb show he just put on. 

“There’s nothing to mishear, mother. Atsumu is my boyfriend, and has been for awhile.” Then Atsumu sees the face he only gets on the court, a dare in his eyes as he stares at her blankly, “Problem?” He asks softly but confident, his eyes deep swirls. 

The intense mood shatters when Chiyo interrupts, “Congrats you two, you seem like you’re sweet together,” her smile is bright and warm, and something he didn’t think he would see in this house, she lights up the area around her, Yota brightening with her, him with a supportive smile on his face. 

“Yeah, Kiyoomi. Who knew the pricklest bastard to ever grace this earth, could get a boyfriend.” Yota’s smile doesn’t falter as his wife slaps him on the arm. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t seem to care about his brother’s words as he learns around him to look at Chiyo, “Unfountute that you married him. May he get well soon.” 

Atsumu almost thinks they’re home free when dinner comes to in end, but no first Kiyoomi gets called into the kitchen to help his mother with clean up, then he’s cornered by Yota and only Yota and Atsumu finds himself hating the height difference more and more as he looks down at him. 

“Can I talk to you in the living room?” 

“Sure.” 

As Yota turns to lead the way, Atsumu looks skyward hoping to be struck down before he can have the awkwardest conversation in his life probably above the one he had with his father about sex, he shivers at the thought of it. 

Yota gestures to a seat, so he takes it, hands on his knees, he sits back trying to relax as Yota keeps looking at him with an expression he can’t pinpoint. 

“You’re a quiet guy, aren’t you?” 

Atsumu barely contains his laugh at the thought of him being quiet, but he holds it back for later for Kiyoomi to laugh at, he shakes his head, “God, no.” 

Yota lets out a surprised chuckle.”Really?” 

“I’m the annoyingest bitch to ever grace this planet, accordin’ to yer brother.” He doesn’t fight the smile that spreads across his lips at that, he remembers the conversation like yesterday, the way Kiyoomi had rolled over after their first night together with a small smile, pressing a kiss to his lips to shut him up.

“I’ve just been sittin’ back and lettin’ him have his time with his family.” He adds on when Yota gives him a questioning look.

A guilty look crosses Yota's face, he picks at his frayed jeans, not looking up at him, “Yeah, that makes sense, it has been awhile.” Atsumu only then realizes how tired Yota looks, whether it be from the baby or laying awake the night before running through all the possibilities of seeing Kiyoomi again after so long, with the terms everyone’s on with him. 

Atsumu shakes his head, “Ya it has, O--Kiyoomi was lookin’ forward to it,” as much as it hurts to lie he wants to give him something. Even if its an empty lie.

Yota laughs but there’s no heart in it, “Thanks for saying that but I know it’s not true, did Kiyoomi ever tell you the terms in which he parted? He only started talking to us again a few months ago, and even then.” Yota pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts. “Even then it was just because of the baby, and dads retiring, if it weren’t for that I don’t think he’d ever talk to any of us again, maybe dad and Tomoko…” 

Atsumu feels as if he got a bucket dumped on him, none of these things Kiyoomi told him, he grips his arms where they’re crossed, does Kiyoomi even trust him? He shakes his head, now is not the time to question the trust Kiyoomi has or doesn’t have for him. 

He watches closely as Yota seems to become a different person, soft spoken and serious instead of the man he saw at the table, with his joyful words, and his jabs at his siblings, he’s calm and collected, but most of all he’s sad just like the rest of the family for the loss of their brother. 

It seems only Natsumi isn’t aware of all the trouble she’s caused, the family she tore a hole in. 

Yota folds his hands in his lap, looking at them, “I guess, what I wanted to say, is thanks for looking after Kiyoomi when we couldn’t, or rather still can’t.” 

Atsumu can’t reply, he goes to but is cut off by Kiyoomi entering the room, and pretty much falling on top of him with all his weight, partly on the couch, his face pressed into his shoulder, Atsumu forces himself to relax, ignoring the flushing on his face, they don’t normally display public affection, that had been one of the things when they started dating that they talked about, because Kiyoomi wasn’t ready and he couldn’t always trust how clean he was after being around teammates or whoever, Atsumu hadn’t really minded, he carried hand sanitizer around, or borrowed Kiyoomi’s to hold hands, but this was different. 

He still finds himself wrapping an arm around him and squeezing him tightly, Kiyoomi only mumbling something against his shoulder he can’t make out. “If yer expectin’ me to reply, yer gonna have to remove your face from my shoulder,” Kiyoomi repeats the same muffled words without removing his face, he feels the arm around his own waist tighten, so he lets it be.

He catches Yota’s eyes, wide and shocked, Atsumu feels a rush of satisfaction, a rush with the priliage only he’s able to get with simply being him, of being this person for Kiyoomi as much he’s unsure of himself and the trust Kiyoomi has for him, this is something wholly his, he just hopes he can keep it that way. 

Yota looks away with something akin to guilt in his eyes, quickly standing he heads for the stairs taking them two at a time in his haste to get away. 

When they’re safely as alone as they can get on the first level, “That was quite a ballsy comin’ out you had there Omi-kun, gotta say i'm a little jealous.”

Kiyoomi pulls back a little, his chin rested on his shoulder, one leg still draped over Atsumu lap, “My mother did not like it to say the least.” his all he says, his eyes don’t look red or distant, he looks almost content. 

“Ya regrettin’ it?” Atsumu finds himself asking, anything to ease the tingling in the back of his head, the words plaguing his mind to get out. 

Kiyoomi surprises him with shaking his head, “No.” He goes back to hiding his head in his neck, not looking up as his sister Tomoko joins them on the other couch, texting whoever on her phone, not bothered by their position in the slightest. 

It’s only when Tomoko starts talking on the phone softly to her roommate that he realizes that Kiyoomi fell asleep on his shoulder, he runs a hand through his hair, completely relaxed, he pressed his lips lightly to the hair on his forehead, afterwards pressing his own forehead to it, closing his eyes, he knows he won’t fall asleep. 

He feels the lightest touch on his arm sometime later, blinking open to find Tomoko standing in front of him, “You better take him upstairs, mom’s going to be in here soon enough,” Is all the warning he gets before she’s also taking her leave up the stairs. 

He doesn’t wake Kiyoomi, thanking whatever gods out there that he can, in fact, pick his boyfriend up, the stairs take some manoeuvring, but then they're home free, he doesn’t set Kiyoomi on the bed, instead deciding to sit down on the bed himself, he rests a moment before waking him slowly.

“Hey, jerk, you gotta shower if ya wanna sleep in a bed.” he pokes him gently in the side a few times. 

He gets a grunt, then a sigh on his neck that sends shivers down his spine. 

“Wake up, Omi Omi.” He says closer to his ear. 

“You know I hate you,” Is the breathless reply he gets, still sounding half asleep. 

“I hate ya too,” He says kissing him on the forehead loudly, Kiyoomi slaps him halfheartedly in the arm, giving him a disgusted look, flicking him on the forehead in retaliation. 

“Absolutely disgusting.” Kiyoomi says but he doesn’t move from where he is in his lap, if anything his arms wrap around his shoulders tighter. 

“Ya should go shower ya know yer gonna feel like shit if you don’t.” 

As much as he wants to stay basking in this moment for as long as he can, he knows he’s right, with the touching, with no doubt the things his mother said to him when they were alone, things have to be taking their toll by now. 

Yet he still doesn’t move, only hums in the back of his throat, rubbing his nose lightly against the skin on his neck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats in bi*   
> to the people who commented before i reuploaded bc of difficulties thanku ure too sweet<333   
> thank you 100 kudos and thank you to all the people who have commented. 
> 
> let me know what yall think 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	5. Chapter Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another warning chapter four got cut short and re-edited at like nine at night, so id go back and read it if you didnt get a chance before, ao3 really hating on me smh. 
> 
> I hope enjoy this.

When they’re both laying in bed later that night, it’s quiet, both looking at one another in the dark of the room, only their hands touching, Atsumu thinks of what his mother said before, and what Yota said, and can’t help the words that flow from his mouth without proper inspection, not that any of the things that come out of his mouth get much inspection. 

Hell he told Kiyoomi when he asked him out that he thought he was hot as shit without thinking, that only caused things to get weirder, it did end okay, it could not matter now though if this relationship ends because there is no trust. 

Even if Kiyoomi fell asleep downstairs in one of the places he feels the least safe, he fell asleep on him, when it sometimes takes him hours to fall asleep in a bed in his own apartment, miles away from his parents. 

“Omi.” 

Kiyoomi flicks up from their hands back to his eyes. “What.” He says blandly. 

He rolls his eyes at his boyfriend, brings his hand up to his mouth to kiss his knuckles. “I’m tryin’ to be soft with ya, stop bein’ grumpy.” 

“I’m not grumpy, what is it?” 

Not grumpy his ass, he’s always a little grumpy about something. 

Atsumu looks at him another moment trying to judge his mindspace at this time, but he can’t tell, his shield back in place, blank and calm. “I just wanted ta say that, I don’t even know how to word this,” he holds the hand to his chest so Kiyoomi can feel how fast is heart is beating right now, “

Kiyoomi moves closer to him, “You can say whatever.” 

He knows this isn’t true, because he feels like the next words out of his mouth will make or break them in a stupid sense. 

He knows it's irrational to think that their five-month relationship is built on nothing but both being kinda into one another at some point, but all the things that Kiyoomi kept from him just regrading his family is casting a shade on all the things he’s told him before, how much were truths and just half truths?

He wishes desperately in that fleeting second that he called Osamu instead of his mother, or his father even. 

Kiyoomi’s still looking at him. 

He clears his throat in hopes of giving himself more time, if anything it only brings Kiyoomi’s eyes to his lips, he looks away down at where he’s still touching Kiyoomi’s arm. “Fuck it.” He whispers to himself. 

He locks eyes again, keeps his eyes on his face as much as he can. “Kiyoomi,” His eyes flicker back to his eyes, they’re dark, he tries not to get lost in them. “Why didn’t ya tell me anythin’ about yer family? I wanted ta come because I thought ya needed me and now we’re here and yer hardly talkin’ and yer gettin’ sick because yer mom touches ya, and I know ya can’t always touch and that doesn’t matter to me-- ya know that, but I think I had a right to know what I was gettin’ into, what I’m tryin’ to say, Omi is that yer scarin’ me.” he finishes rather lamely he thinks, from the look of distant confusion on Kiyoomi’s face he’s not doing much better either. 

Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything and Atsumu’s stomach sinks. As if he went   
somewhere and Atsumu can’t follow, he drops his hand to the bed, and Kiyoomi’s hand falls after he lets go. 

“Kiyoomi, baby?” 

A sound gets stuck in Kiyoomi's throat, he moves closer without thinking, which prompts Kiyoomi to move away his back hitting the wall with a thump that makes Atsumu wince. 

Kiyoomi runs a hand through his hair, not stopping instead gripping a bundle of his hair tightly, his voice comes out strained. “I knew you shouldn’t have come, it was stupid of me to think this would work out--my mother is-- and my siblings, and I--” His voice cuts off in a short gasp like he’s forgotten how to breathe, coming up for air but the air not listening. 

Atsumu’s heart beats faster, his palms are sweating, he sits up, the blankets pooling around his waist, he moves closer trying to touch him, he knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help--he reaches out, and Kiyoomi pushes him back. 

“Don’t touch me.” It comes out like venom, and it takes Atsumu when they met again for the first time after high school, standing in the gymnasium, these words sound more desperate and not like how Kiiyoomi sounds at all, tears are leaking down his face softly. 

These words don’t get said once and clearly with indifference in his tone, no these words are said anguished and distressed and repeated many times in various tones of voice all high and whispered. 

He can’t tell if Kiyoomi can even see it’s him, and not who ever he’s repeating these words too, he puts his hands up, unsure, all it does is make Kiyoomi flinch back, eyes squeezing shut, Atsumu’s heart aches, he gets up slowly from the bed, backing away until his back hits the wall on the other side of the room next to the closet, he watches as Kiyoomi seems to shrink in on himself, hands in his hair gripping tightly pulling as he says over again words he can’t make out. 

Something wet is running down his face, he numbly touches his cheeks, only noticing that he’s crying and not just some, he’s full on crying like nose running, face red. 

He watches helplessly as his boyfriend struggles to get his breathing normal, he shouldn’t have said anything, he should’ve made it through the week and told him afterwards, asked him all the questions he had when they were back in the safety of Kiyoomi’s apartment, he falls to the floor, he sits there for what feels like hours, as Kiyoomi tires himself out, crying and whispering to himself. 

Atsumu feels foolish, he wants to run and keep running until his lungs burn out and the world makes sense, Kiyoomi was the strongest person he knows, and he won’t take it back, but this. 

He can’t help this, no matter how much was explained, nothing could have prepared him for this kind of agony, for this kind of worry that sinks in his mind like an illness. 

He runs through his words, thinking and rethinking all the ways he could have worded it what he shouldn’t have said, but he comes up empty, he can’t, he doesn’t know-- he didn’t say anything that he thought could have triggered this. 

He thinks about grabbing his phone, and messaging Osamu, he thinks about going out in the hall and calling his mom back, he thinks about all of this but he doesn’t do any of it. He sits frozen back straight as an arrow. The sun peaks up through the blinds. 

His eyes get heavier, he peeks over the bed, where Kiyoomi’s rolled onto his other side, forehead pressed to the wall, he can’t tell if he’s awake or not. 

He falls asleep. 

_

Atsumu awakes all at once, his neck is sore, his back is sore from where he’s slumped against the wall, he stands slowly, his knees protesting. He looks down at the bed, Kiyoomi’s breathing softly, he still looks a mess, his face to the wall, hand still gripped in his hair, blanket around his legs. 

He watches him, taking him in, he sighs. He does the only thing he thinks to do, he writes a note, he leaves it on the bedside table, tucking the corner under Kiyoomi’s phone, the screen blinking on in a last ditch effort to make Atsumu lose his shit, the picture is them at the olympics, second place standing next to one another not touching but smiling widely at one another, their silver medals touching. He stares until it fades to black. 

Putting on his jeans from last night he struggles almost falling, he catches himself on the bed, Kiyoomi’s still asleep with some miracle. He picks up his suitcase, he picks up his backpack swinging it over his shoulder. 

He sends one last look at Kiyoomi, his head feels as if it stuffed with cotton balls, he can’t force himself out the door, he places his suitcase by the end of the bed for a moment, picking up the blanket and carefully spreading it over Kiyoomi, he lets out a soft sigh in his sleep, the closest thing Atsumu going to get for goodbye. 

The house is still quiet, the stairs creek lightly under his weight, the train is leaving in four hours, but he doesn’t think he can take another minute in this house without doing something that he’ll regret, he’ll say something to the wrong person he wouldn’t normally care, but this is Kiyoomi. 

All it was for him, and he messed up. 

He puts on his shoes, tying them feeling dazed, his eyes hurt, he feels like he might burst into tears right in this entryway, his coat too warm, his fingers are freezing. He stands and Natsumi’s there standing in front of him, his blood suddenly boils just by looking at her, she looks smug, a small pleased smile on her lips, that he can’t help but think it reminds him of Kiyoom--

“Leaving so soon?” She asks, her arms crossed leaning against the wall next to the stairs. 

He wants to rip her apart. 

He doesn’t. 

He does snarl, like some kind of wild animal, his own arms crossing in front of him, his bags by his feet. 

“Oh well,” Goes on, “I will tell Kiyoomi that not even his boyfriend is there for him. You know he thinks I don’t care about him? I wonder where he got that idea.” 

He stops himself from walking across the floor to her by barely a string of patice, he levels her with a look. “Gee, I wonder.” 

Her shoulders squire, “He only got those ideas from you, he was never like this before.” 

He rolls his eyes so hard it hurts, “I can tell ya right now, that he didn’t tell me shit ‘bout ya, I only found out ‘bout all this, this week, and let me tell ya I’m not too pleased. 

Her eyebrows tense, her teeth coming out in a sneer, “There’s nothing not to be pleased about, he’s my son, I raised him. And he was never like this before you.” 

Atsumu’s arms fall to his sides in shock, it only settles in that she thinks this is normal, like this is how you treat a child. His hands turn to fists, he bites his lip, “Yer son, is an adult, he hasn’t been talkin’ to you for years, that’s how much damage you’ve done. He’s only here for his brother, do ya really think he would’ve only come for ya?” 

Natsumi’s nostrils flare, she sends him a look that could kill, he stands still back tall, “Kiyoomi isn’t damaged,” She spits out, “He just needs extra discipline, have you seen the things he does, he doesn’t think my house is clean, he talks in a manner that is disrespectful, that is all. He needs me.” 

Atsumu’s feels like he might throw up. 

She doesn’t stop there either. “He needs me. Without me he wouldn’t have made it without me, he got into sports because of me, he got help for his ‘thing’ because of me, I gave him life, he is my child.” The words sink in slowly. 

He opens his mouth, he closes it when she glares at him. 

“He is mine. Leave now, just admit you know you can do better than my son and move on, he’ll settle in fine with that girl down the street, she’s perfectly average for him, he doesn’t need you with your flashy smiles, and your big words. My son is average, he won’t amount to much but he’s my son, and that’s all he needs to be.” 

Atsumu’s blood goes from boiling to freezing in a matter of seconds, he stares at her, watching as she turns to leave. 

He can’t let her have the last word. 

Deathly calm sets in, “Natsumi, can I call ya Natsumi? Ya know I’m not one for formality.” She stops walking, turning sharply on her heel to stare back at him. “I want ya ta know, I’m not leavin’ for my sake, I’m leavin’ for Kiyoomi’s and nobody else’s I couldn't give a shit what ya think of me, because frankly, yer the shit under my shoe. But I can’t sit back and take the things yer sayin’ ‘bout one of the best people I’ve ever met, and I’ve met me. 

“Yer son is the best thing to ever happen to me, before him all I did was play volleyball, and now I get to play with him, and hold his fuckin’ hand which feels like a fuckin’ blessin’ mind ya. He’s above average in everything he does, he is the reason I keep goin’ he carin’ he’s lovin’ and he’s nothing like you in anyway, shape or form, because you didn’t raise a good person, you damaged a helpless child, who turned himself into an amazin’ person.” 

He’s fumming by the end he doesn’t wait for her to reply, picking his things up, and fucking slamming the door behind him, it feels like the best thing he did all week. 

He knows he’ll probably regret it later, but for now he runs to the train station, riding on that high, until his lungs hurt and his feet are sore. He falls to the first bench he can see. 

His hands are still shaking as he takes out his phone dialing his brother’s number. 

“I’m fuckin’ idiot.” He says as soon as he picks up. 

“Ya sure fuckin’ are, its fuckin’ six in the morin’ what the fuck do ya want?” His brother slurs, his voice rough from sleep, he can faintly hear Suna in the background. 

He lets out a breathless laugh that makes the lady on the other platform look over with a concerned look for her own safety, he gives her a wave, that makes her turn away from him. 

“I’m the fuckin’ dumbest person to ever grace this earth, but my fuckin’ god it feels exhilaratin’ ‘Samu.” 

His brother growls, “If ya don’t fuckin’ tell me why ya called I’m fuckin’ hangin’ up on yer ass.” 

He ignores his brother’s grumbling in favour of talking more about himself.

“I kinda yelled at Omi’s mom? Like not yellin’ yellin’ but like angry words came out and I couldn’t stop ‘em” 

He hears his brother swear in turn, “Why did ya do that, ‘Tsamu?” 

Atsumu kicks his heels up, “Fuckin’ who knows.” 

-

By the time he gets on the train, the high is leaving him, and all he feels is regret paired with nervousness for the unknown. The letter he left on Kiyoomi’s bedside still staring at him whenever he closes his eyes. 

His leg won’t stop bouncing, he leans his head on the glass watching as the scenery changes, his eyes keep threatening to close, he texts the team at one point, Hinata for a while about things he now can’t place. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he comes to in a place he hasn’t seen in months, his legs feel like they can’t hold his weight as he stands, he walks the streets he hasn’t since he was a kid, taking the long way home, up a winding path where he remembers grabbing ‘walking sticks’ with Osamu. He thinks briefly of his little sister and how he used to take her to the park around the corner to play volleyball, before she realized she liked soccer better. 

Then he’s turning the corner, the house is exactly as he remembers it, small and homey on the outside, weeds growing between the stones of the walkway, the bench by the door with two pillows worn by the weather, Satomi’s old cleats by the door, he knocks twice not thinking about what he’s about to face. 

Coming face to face with Satomi, she looks up at him squinting, “Why are ya here?” She glares. 

“Does little Satomi not want to see her dear dear brother?” 

She scoffs, flipping her hair over her shoulder, “Nah, I just wasn’t expectin’ a bastard at my door at twelve in the afternoon.” 

He pushes her out of the way with a light shove to the forehead, “Out of the way, nerd.” he ruffles her hair on the way that makes he yelp trying to fix it, he kicks of his shoes, then pushes them over to where the other shoes are resting, putting on this slippers that are by the door, Satomi goes on ahead of him already complaining 

“Mom! Atsumu is here, and I dunno why!” 

His mother peaks her head out of the kitchen, her mid length hair falling over a shoulder, as soon as she sees him a sad smile graces her face, she puts down whatever she was making, and she’s walking towards him her arms open, “Oh darlin’ what happened.” Her arms wrap around him securely, she smells of brown sugar and raspberry shampoo that she’s been using since he was little. 

He lets himself fold into her embrace, his own arms coming up around her, she barely coming up to his shoulder, his eyes suddenly misty, he blames that on missing his mom and not what happened hours earlier. 

He can’t say anything in fear of sobbing, so he lets her hold him for a few moments longer than normal, lets her lead him to his room, his stuff still in the entrance, she tucks him into bed saying he looks exhausted, pressing a kiss to his forehead like she did every night until he told her he was too old for it. 

She sits with him petting his hair, as slowly tears leak out of his eyes, she wipes them away with her thumb. 

“My poor ‘Tsumu.” She whispers with other words he can’t process. 

He falls asleep without meaning too.

-

Atsumu wakes hours or days later, feeling like death warmed over, his eyes are crusty from tears, he’s still in his jeans that he arrived in, he stumbles out of bed, walking into the hall to the family room where Satomi is spread out on the rug with her homework on a small table, the tv playing a show he doesn’t know. 

“What time is it?” 

Satomi looks up then looks away then back at him, “Ya look like shit.” 

He waves her off, leaning on the entrance way, “What time is it?” 

She rolls her eyes, tapping her phone next to her, “eleven at night.” 

He hits his head against the wall lightly, “Uhuhh..” 

“Osamu called, he said ya weren’t answerin’ yer phone.” She goes back to work, not giving him another glance, her eyes going to the tv every once in a while. 

He rolls his shoulders, falling into the couch behind her, he rubs his eyes, “It’s dead.” 

“Charge it.” 

“Maybe.” 

They sit there in silence, he looks over her shoulder as she makes her way through her english homework, he wrinkles his nose. 

He taps her with his slipper, “How’s soccer?” 

She barely acknowledges him, “Good, I’m still the best,” She says with a flick of her hair over her shoulder.

He snorts, “Uhuh.” 

“Shut up, ya were worse than me in high school.” 

“I think ya mean the best.” 

She gives him a look, like ‘see this is what I mean’ he ignores this, he watches the show half-heartedly, not absorbing any of it, he sits there until he can’t take it anymore, he stands hoping a shower will help to clean his thoughts. 

As he passes by he messes up Satomi’s hair again, she swears at him, quite colourfully might he add, he turns on his heel to stick his tongue out at her, well she glares trying to fix her hair still. 

He’s quiet in the hallway not wanting to wake his mother, closing the bathroom door behind himself, he showers quickly, afterwards getting the bath ready, he sits there in burning water staring at the ceiling. 

He sits there until he hears Satomi’s door close down the hall, his eyes close, he still feels exhausted, his body isn’t his, but his thoughts are, his brain runs slowly through the conversations he’s had over the last few days, his heartaches as he thinks about how he left so soon after Kiyoomi came out-- 

He shakes those thoughts out of his mind when the water is making him shiver and his fingers look like raisins, he gets out, wrapping a towel around himself, he shuffles back to his bedroom, putting on the first pair of clothes he can find in his dresser, the few things he left here when he moved. 

He falls back into bed, waiting for hunger or anything to over take him when it doesn’t he curls up, the blanket over his head, arms wrapped around himself. 

He keeps his breathing even and calm, he feels a bone deep tiredness he’s never felt before, his body is sore but not from overdoing it in volleyball, no this is different. 

He hates that it’s different. 

-

He doesn’t sleep again, not deeply at least, his brain is sluggish, and time feels like something that doesn’t affect him anymore, he knows is mother peaks in at some point but if she says anything he doesn’t hear it, Satomi stops by her sitting on their floor, her knees to her chest just looking at him she doesn’t say anything, she goes on her phone, she leaves to call her friends, she comes back with food, making sure he eats and drinks something. 

He wants Kiyoomi. 

He makes himself not want him. 

He tries. 

He must have drifted off because the next time he wakes, Osamu is sitting at the end of his bed on his phone, looking like he was always there. He kicks his brother just because he can, and to let him know he’s awake. 

“Ya really didn’t need ta do that, ya could’ve used yer words.” 

Atsumu makes an executive decision not to give that a reply, “Why are ya here.” 

His brother sends him a glare with hatred, but worries lingering in his eyes, “‘Cause ya weren’t answerin’ yer goddamn phone, ya idiot.” 

“It’s dead.” 

“So fuckin’ charge it,” 

“Didn’t want ta.” 

He rolls on to his side towards the wall, he sighs, “I didn’t want ta see if Sakusa messaged.” he mumbles. 

“Why would that matter, aren’t ya datin’” 

He shrugs, “‘M not sure” 

Osamu lets out a heavy breath, he hits him on the leg, it staying there, “Not sure if yer still datin’ or not sure if he texted?” 

“Both.” 

Osamu stops, he taps his finger on his shin a few times, “I don’t know if he texted ya, but I know for sure he’s fuckin’ crazy ‘bout ya, and I get it at all, but ya make each other bearable for others, so it’s gotta be good.” 

He looks over his shoulder at his brother, who’s dressed in a sweater, he has bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept much either. “ Ya think so, ‘Samu?” 

His brother shrugs, “Ya I do, I’ve tried messagin’ him too, but I think his phones off, but ya will work it out,” 

“Ya tried to get in contact with him?” 

“Of course’ ya weren’t answerin’’ and i thought ya were still with him.” 

He nods, he tries not to think about Kiyoomi’s phone being off, but his brain keeps dragging back to it, his phone was charging on the table when he left, why would it be off? He shakes his head, his brother’s still leveling him with a look. 

“I only knew ya were here ‘cause of Satomi.” 

“She messaged ya?” 

Osamu looks down at his hands, his eyes turn back to him looking intense, “No, she ah, she called me, sayin’ that ya weren’t doin’ anythin’ but layin’ in bed, and mom said not to do anythin’ but she called me anyway because apparently, ya needed ‘yer creepy twin thing’ which I don’t get.” 

Atsumu snorts, flopping onto his back, “I don’t know ‘Samu I think I messed up,” 

“What did ya do?” 

He puts his hands over his eyes, like he can force his tears to stay there with enough pressure. “I tried to talk to him, ‘cause that’s what mom said ta do, and--and I don’t know it didn’t go well. Kiyoomi--Sakusa, starting panicking and he started telin’ me not to touch him, and he didn’t sound like himself, and he kept repeatin’ that I shouldn’t have come-” HIs breath chokes off, he squeezes his eyes shut tightly against his fists, trying to keep his breathing even. 

He doesn’t see what Osamu’s facial expression is, but from the sigh, he lets out, it sounds like he’s done with his shit, he surprises him with talking softly, “I don’t think that was ‘bout ya, ‘Tsumu. It probably set him off for somethin’ else, but it wasn’t yer fault.” 

He shakes his head, ignoring those words, as his tears manage to escape, trailing down his face to his ears, “That’s not all I did, what if I made it worse when I said all that shit ta his mom.” 

“Come here ya, idiot.” 

He removes his hands to see his brother, holding out his arms like it’s something he does every day, he hugs him back. It's awkward and horrible but what he needed right now. 

“If ya say a word of this to Rintrao, I’ll kill ya,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha,,,thanks for reading
> 
> i dont know what to think of this chapter so let me know what ya think, theres only like a few chapters left, maybe only one. 
> 
> thank you for all the sweet comments and the kudos, im so happy someones enjoying this half assed thing sgijiodjg
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	6. Chapter Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo, this is the last chapter!! thank you for sticking with this. I know it's not the best plot-wise but i had a lot of fun writing this, and i wanted to share it. 
> 
> once again this was the first time i wrote for this ship and i plan to write more in the future if ya have any ideas of what you'd like to read next leave a comment and ill see if it sparks anything! im always down to write more.

Atsumu tries to get back to normal after that, well as normal as he can be staying with his mom, he plays soccer with Satomi who kicks his ass, then he kicks her ass at volleyball, and Osamu laughs at them from the deck, before Atsumu talks him into joining them, then it’s their turn to laugh at him. 

They help their mom cook dinners and lunches, Atsumu takes her shopping, and watches tv with her at night. Rintaro ends up coming over as well, throwing pillows at Atsumu when they’re laying in bed together across the room.

Atsumu tries to ignore the words that aren’t said to his face, it feels like it’s been three weeks but it’s been two days, and he’s running on coffee and showers and barely any sleep. 

He naps on the couch in the afternoons when he can, Satomi sitting at the other end of the couch, watching tv. He hates how they make sure he’s not alone, as much as he wants to yell at them about it, it’s what he needs, he craves their attention in their small affections, his mother’s hugs in the mornings, Satomi’s glares and shoulder touches as she passes by, and Osamu’s light punches in the shoulders when he walks by. 

It feels weird to go from only attention from his teammates and the few touches he gets from Kiyoomi every once and awhile, to all of the attention. He didn't realize how much he missed it until he had it back. 

It’s later in the evening after him and his mom got back from shopping they’re sitting on the couch together, she’s watching a drama he doesn’t understand the appeal to, but he finds himself watching and throwing popcorn at the screen when the characters do something stupid. 

It’s a commercial break when the conversation comes, “Atsumu honey, I know yer goin’ through a lot right now, and I understand that, but ya gotta start sleepin’ more. I knew ya haven’t slept good since that first night when ya were too exhausted to think, not to mention yer not goin’ be here much longer, ya don’t wanna go back to the city tired.” She looks over giving him a small smile. 

He looks away, feeling guilty for a reason he can’t place. “I’m sorry.” 

“Ya have nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout yer always welcome here. And ya know that okay?” She ruffles his hair, fixing it afterwards. 

He nods numbly, he hasn’t felt like himself in days, he doesn’t remember what it feels like to be himself at this point. 

“Just try to get some sleep tonight okay?” 

He smiles at her hoping to reassure her that he’ll try tonight instead of staring at the ceiling or sitting in the living room until his eyes hurt from the light and he’s too wired to sleep. 

He spends the next two days trying to find different ways to fall asleep, he starts with running until he feels exhausted, then he tries practicing, then he tries the gym, then he tries just laying in bed, because his body hurts too much to do much else, Osamu gives him a look when he still sees him in bed on the third day at 2 PM. 

The fifth day is hell, he sleeps fitfully throughout the night, his mind plagued by the thoughts of Kiyoomi of him still laying in bed, telling him not to touch him, to stay away, saying he shouldn’t have come, he jerks awake after the second dream in the same stream of thought, it’s six am when he drags himself out of bed, he sits on the couch as Satomi comes down the stairs she sits down next to him and wordlessly puts her head on his shoulder, his own resting on her head, they sit like that, his eyes closing he lets himself be for a moment.

He doesn’t think, he just lets his sister sit next to him, joining him in the silence, their mom comes down at some point, covering them with a blanket, Satomi falling asleep on his shoulder. 

Osamu waves him goodbye at nine saying he has to go to an opening of one of his restaurants, and Rintaro has to get back to training, he knows that his phone will no doubt have a lot of texts on it just from Osamu on his ride back on the train. 

Satomi gets up later with a light blush on her cheeks, she leaves to go shower and eat breakfast, he sits in place, only getting up to shower after her, he eats with his mother in the backyard. 

It looks like it might rain, but for now he enjoys the weather, his mother chattering on about one of the girls she works with who’s getting married that she’s very excited about. 

In the afternoon, he goes for a long walk, sitting in a park after, that he remembers falling and splitting his lip in when he was younger. He sits there until the sun is setting, heading back home he lets himself in the back. 

Yelling out his greeting his mother replies from the kitchen. 

“Dear, if ya hear the door in a bit can ya get it? Satomi’s friend is picking her up.” He peaks in the kitchen leaning on the door. 

“She got a boyfriend or somethin’” 

His mother winks at him, “Maybe.” 

“If I answer the door do I have permission to scare him a little?” 

His mom sends him a look from the counter, “If ya do that yer sister will kill ya, and no one will find the body. Plus he’s a very nice boy, he’s on the boys soccer team at yer sister’s school, they’re sweet together.” 

He groans, “Ugh, fine. But if he ever does anythin’ weird to her, do I have permission to scare him then?” 

She rolls her eyes, going back to stirring whatever is in the pan on the stove, “Then and only then.” 

He gives a cheer, he sits at the low table, chatting with her. Some part of him is itching to get back to the city, to go back to practise, but he can’t imagine dealing with everything far from his mother as silly and childish as it is. 

It’s after dinner when he hears the knock on the door, his mother gives him another warning look when he gets up to get the door, he rolls his eyes, and flips her off which makes her flip him off right back. 

“Satomi yer boyfriend is here!” he yells as she yelps from wherever she is in the house. 

“He’s not my boyfriend, and Mom why did ya let hm get the door.” he hears her start talking a mile a minute about whatever as he gets the door, she doesn’t bother to stop him as much as she complains. 

He opens the door, “Satomi--” The words die in his throat, looking up at one Sakusa Kiyoomi, who’s staring right back at him, face blank, mask obscuring the rest of his face, a sweater pulled over his hand still posed to knock on the door. 

Time seems to freeze, then Satomi’s there standing behind him, “That’s not--” He pushes her face away. And waves at her to go back into the house, he numbly steps out and closes the door behind himself, ignoring the words Satomi says, Kiyoomi steps back giving him more room. 

He clears his throat, “Uhhh, what’re ya doin’ here, Sakusa.” 

He watches Kiyoomi closely, he’s still hunched in on himself, his eyes still boring into his, “Why do you think I’m here?” He holds up his hand holding up the note. “Seriously a note?” 

He gulps, his hands are shaking, he shoves them in his pockets, “What do ya think?” he runs hands through his hair, “I didn’t know what to do.” 

Kiyoomi presses the note into his chest, he can’t see his mouth but he knows its pressed into it’s signature frown with the glare he’s currently sending him, it’s been months since this look was directioned at him. 

“You’re ending a five month relationship with a note, that says ‘sorry I over stepped?’ You’re not even thinking-”His voice cracks, Atsumu’s stomach falls to his feet. 

He opens his mouth, Kiyoomi glares at him, he pushes the note harder at his chest, “That’s all I’m--We’re worth? That’s all this was to you, Miya?” 

Atsumu shakes his head, he grabs the hand that’s holding the note to his chest, he ignores the tears threatening to slip down his cheeks, he won’t cry, he’s cried enough. “No, that’s--Saku--Kiyoomi, I didn’t. I don’t know what I could’ve done to make this better for ya.” 

Kiyoomi stares at him, he still looks like he’s fumming, then it changes slowly to something he’s never seen before, he can’t place it, it looks sad, and heartbroken, and Atsumu holds the hand in his tighter, “You didn’t have to leave,” He whispers, his eyes are red, his skin is pale, he doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping at all, the hand in his is trembling like it’s taking work to stand in front of him in the moment. 

It hits him all at once that he was alone for five days without him. Kiyoomi holds his eyes, he steps back pulling him closer to the house, he reaches behind him for the door handle. 

He looks up at him feeling hopeful for the first time in days, “Come in. We’ll talk it out, and ya need to sleep, or I can book ya a train ticket and we can get ya back to yer apartment.” 

Kiyoomi lets himself be led into the front door, they take off their shoes in silence, Atsumu keeps holding onto his wrist like he’ll escape without him holding on. 

His mom comes bustling down the hallway still wiping her hands on her on her apron, “Atsumu I told ya not to bother yer sister’s boyfriend--Oh.” She stops in her tracks looking at them both. 

“Mom, this is Kiyoomi, uhh we’re going to my room.” 

She nods, her mouth still open a little, she smiles though when they pass, giving him a look asking if he’ll be okay, he ignores her and heads to his room, pulling Kiyoomi in after him, closing the door he leans against it. 

Kiyoomi takes stock of the room at the mess on the bookshelves, the messy bed sheets, Atsumu rubs the back of his neck, face heating up, this isn’t how he wanted Kiyoomi to see his childhood home. 

Atsumu stands and Kiyoomi stands in the middle of the room turning slowly until he’s facing him, “At--

“Kiyo--” They say at the same time, talking over one another, he gestures for Kiyoomi to start talking, not minding when he doesn’t remove his mask. 

“Atsumu.” He says quietly, “Why did you leave?” 

The adrenaline of before fades, he slumps further against the wall, “I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t feel like I was helpin’ ya, yer family was ignorin’ it like it wasn’t happenin’ and ya only seemed to be gettin’ worse with me there, and after that night, I just.” He shrugs as if that can explain all of his emotions, he looks down at his hands. 

Kiyoomi’s still quiet so he keeps going, gaining a little courage to look him in the eyes, his eyes are serious not exactly warm per say either, but it’s enough for him, something runs through him, his back straightens up. “Ya either never lean on me, Kiyoomi or I’m the only thing keepin’ ya together, and I get it I do, because of the way ya were raised and whatever. And it’s just not then either, Omi. it was like that before too, and I should’ve said somethin’ but I didn’t. I opened up to ya, but ya never said anythin’ ya told me ya had siblings, ya told me yer mom was tough on ya, but that’s wasn’t what that was, Kiyoomi.” He finds himself, searching Kiyoomi’s eyes hoping for some understanding, but Kiyoomi’s not looking at him, he’s looking at his feet.

Atsumu steps forward, then holds himself back, “Don’t go distant on me, Omi.” 

Kiyoomi’s eyes snap up to him, he’s there and present, and that’s all Atsumu can hope for. “Kiyoomi.” He says again because he can, he’s went days without thinking about him. He thinks he deserves this little thing he can hold, he holds it close to his chest, he’s stupid and human, and that’s all he can think about. 

“Atsumu, what do you mean the way I was raised?” 

Atsumu blinks up at him confused, Kiyoomi holds his gaze no backing down, questioning him, he cocks his head to the side, “Well, ya know yer mom treats ya badly right?” Kiyoomi nods, “My mom would never treat me the way she treats ya, that’s a bad comparison and ‘m not tryin’ to rub that in listen for a second, it’s not just that my mom would never say somethin’ like that ta me she would never let anyone say that to me, she wouldn’t ask me to remove my face mask if I needed it, she wouldn’t tell me to remove my moles, ya know?” Atsumu feels like he’s talking out of his ass but he needs to get this out and this is all he can think about, and all he was trying not to think about and failing these past few days. 

With a last ditch effort, “She wouldn’t say to someone I was datin’ that they could do better, and that her child deserves someone average like them. Kiyoomi yer mother should love ya no matter what it shouldn’t be conditional and yer siblings shouldn’t just sit there well it happens.” 

Kiyoomi doesn’t look shocked like he thought he would, he stands impossibly still, the note he was still holding in his hand falls to the floor with a soundless flutter, Atsumu watches waiting for an explosion, yet still he does nothing. 

Atsumu steps forward, Kiyoomi watching him closely he doesn't try to stop him, so he steps right in front of him, up close his eyes have deep bags under them, his skin differently with a grey undertone, he doesn’t touch, he’ll wait for Kiyoomi to. 

It doesn’t take long for him to reach out to touch his hair, softly pushing it out of his face with care, he doesn’t touch his skin, Atsumu wants to fall into him. 

God he needs to control himself, they haven't been talking for only five days he can’t imagine a week of this, or hell a month. 

Kiyoomi touches his shoulder next, over his hoodie, he doesn’t put much pressure, “Are ya okay?” he finds himself asking anyway. 

Kiyoomi shakes his head, he reaches a hand up to his own face, slowly pulling off his mask. 

Atsumu’s heart stops in his chest, as he unhooks it from ear, taking in his face, and he finds himself reaching out for his face, stopping himself before he can really touch. 

His lip is split, bleeding a little, still fresh, he doesn’t dare breath, he waits for the nod that Kiyoomi gives him, he cups the side of his jaw, holding it he runs his thumb lightly over the undamaged side of his lip. 

He lets out a shaky breath, “Who--” he doesn’t have to ask, but he needs to hear it for himself. Hear it from Kiyoomi in some sick way confirming something he already knows. 

Kiyoomi looks away, dodging his eyes, “Uh, she didn’t like it when I talked back, I left.” He says without emotion. 

Atsumu wants to hurt her the way that she’s hurt him, but he doesn't because he has to be the bigger person. 

“Has she done this before?” His own voice sounds empty and cold, distancing himself from the anger, Kiyoomi doesn’t need anger right now, he needs someone to listen, and Atsumu will be damned if it’s not him. 

Kiyoomi still can’t look him in the eye, “Not since I was younger.” Confirms the last of it. 

Air rattles out of his lungs, “Okay.” Is all he says for now, “The bathrooms down the hall, why don’t ya get comfy, I’ll clean the room, okay?” Kiyoomi leaves the room, and he lets himself take his first deep breath, he heads into the hallway, by passing the closet where the bedsheets are kept, ingoing his mother’s look, he falls into the couch grabbing a pillow he shoves his face into it screaming into it. 

When he rolls onto his back, his mother looks down at him raising an eyebrow, “Feelin’ better.” 

Not really. 

“Yah, lil.” 

She nods, clapping her hands together, starling him, “Satomi’s out. Ya better get that boyfriend of yers to eat something, he looks about ready to pass out so let's feed him, and send ‘em to bed.” She says with a smile, like it’s completely normal for her son’s boyfriend to show up at her door looking like a zombie, maybe it is for her. 

Atsumu nods struggling to his feet, he helps her in the kitchen before he’s shooed to go clean up his room, he tidies everything as much as he can even Osamu’s side that he’s refused to clean since they were children even though they made the same amount of mess on both of each other’s sides. 

He ends up changing the bed sheets on both the beds in case they need to sleep apart. 

That’s when it sinks in that Kiyoomi wasn’t carrying any of his things with him, so he grabs clothes out of his suitcase, setting them outside the bathroom door. 

He heads back to the kitchen wiping down the table with the cleaning things under his mother’s sink, setting the hand sanitizer he normally has in his pockets nearby. 

Atsumu’s brain is still screaming at him with more questions, but he has time to ask them, they still have to talk about their relationship, but he doesn’t feel as rushed now with him there in the same house, under the same roof. 

Kiyoomi comes into the kitchen a while later, wearing his mask still, he sits on the cushion closet to Atsamu that makes him smile to himself, grinning wider when Kiyoomi looks at him which makes him roll his eyes and flick him in the arm. 

He helps his mom set up the table, they start eating after saying thank you, it’s quiet, the only sound is the clock ticking and music his mother hums along to, it’s when it’s nearing the end of dinner that his mom speaks up. 

“Kiyoomi-kun it was nice to meet ya, my son here hasn’t shut up about ya since high school,” She says with a wink sent his way, he lets out a squawk. 

“Please don’t be embarrassin’’” 

She laughs, “Oh, my sweet, sweet boy.” She says caressing his face, “That’s why I had children.” She pats his cheek twice afterwards, he pushes her hand away from his face. 

Kiyoomi watches all of this silently. “Be as embarrassing as you want,” Kiyoomi says like the demon he is. 

He glares at him, as his mother continues to coo at him and pat his face.

She stops at this and points at Kiyoomi, “I have baby pictures.” Atsumu groans letting his face rest on the table. 

“Mom.” he whines. 

She ignores him, “I have this picture where he wanted to be a princess for halloween one year because everyone loves princesses, I spent months making that dress,” She says foundly, pressing her hands on the table, “OH wait I have the year him and his brother went as shaggy and scooby from those american cartoons they were oh so found of.” 

“Nooo.” He whines again, he hears the soft laugh on Kiyoomi and he looks at him out of the corner of his eye as he keeps talking to his mother softly, showing her pictures on his phone of stupid things he’s done with the team, and stupid things he did at the apartment, and his heart feels full, he can’t help the smile on his face as he watches them talk, even if it’s making fun of him, it feels worth it. 

  
  


-

They stay with his mom a lot longer than they ever hung out downstairs with Kiyoomi’s family, after watching a movie that Kiyoomi almost falls asleep during, he goes to shower trusting that they won’t do anything too embarrassing without him supervising them. 

He showers as quickly as he can, his head still feels fuzzy, still majorly better since Kiyoomi showed up. He washes his face afterwards brushing his teeth. 

When he goes back out to the living room it's only his mom, Kiyoomi out of sight. “Where’d he go?” 

She doesn’t look up from the tv, crocheting as she watches, “Oh, hun. He didn’t stay long after ya left, he said he was tired, and who was I to stop him, I think he’s still a bit unsure without ya around.” 

“He seemed to like ya tho.”

“He was doin’ that for ya, Atsumu. He’s a sweet boy, okay? Take care of him, and let him take care of ya too.” She sends him a look over her glasses, when he nods she goes back to watching her show. “Ok, now get out of here, get some sleep.” 

He makes his way back into the hallway, he stands in front of his door, the light from Satomi’s room is still on he thinks about going to bug her just to derail things a little longer, but decides against it, he slides the door open, Kiyoomi’s sat on his desk chair facing him, legs tucked close to his chest with his arms wrapped around himself. 

He slides the door shut behind him, “Aye.” Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. He sits down on his bed, he runs a hand through his still damp hair, fixating on Kiyoomi who’s doing everything not to look at him, but his gaze sometimes lands on him then away. 

Atsumu almost thinks he’ll have to start the conversation when Kiyoomi talks, low and leveled, eyes fixed on the floor. “Are we broken up?” 

Atsumu’s shoulder’s slump, he looks at his hands in his lap, “I don’t want to be.” His voice is small. 

Kiyoomi’s voice brings him back into his self. “I don’t want to be either.” 

Atsumu lets that sit in the air, making sure he doesn’t take it back before he speaks. “Do ya think we can work this out?” He needs to have hope for them or else it was nothing to begin with. 

Kiyoomi looks at him, face half hidden in his knees, it’s full of warmth. It makes Atsumu want to sink into to live in it, to breath in it, “I think we can.” 

Atsumu nods quickly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, “I shouldn’t have left.” 

Kiyoomi’s eyes get dark for a moment, barely a second before he’s back and looking at him the same way as before, “I understand why you did, I was angry, when I found out and who told me didn’t help, but I understand, and I don’t hold it against you.” 

“Ya know ya can though, ya don’t have to be okay with it--I left ya in a time of need, when yer mom was still treatin’ ya like that, and yer family wasn’t noticin’ I should’ve been there.” He feels guilty saying it, he forces himself to keep looking him in the eye, his leg starts bouncing with its own volition.

Kiyoomi shakes his head, “I wasn’t even thinking about how you were seeing it, I shouldn’t have been so stuck in my head, I didn’t see how you were holding yourself back, Atsumu I don’t want you to be anyone else but yourself at all times, even if it gets on my nerves at times.” He says this last bit with a small cheeky smile, Atsumu wants to squish his face. 

But right now he has much more pressing matters than squishing his face, he clasps his hands together, “Omi, ya don’t have ta look after me all the time, ya know? I just wish ya told me more as to what I was gettin’ into that’s all, and maybe a stress toy. I don’t regret goin’ with ya. I swear to ya.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Atsumu.” 

Atsumu stares at him, because there’s no way he didn’t hear right, he gets up from his seat on the bed, and stands in front of Kiyoomi who looks up at him, “I wouldn’t lie ta ya.” 

Kiyoomi tilts his head to the side, Atsumu lowers himself to his knees in front of him, placing his hands on Kiyoomi’s knees, warm under the cloth of his sweatpants, “I wouldn’t lie to ya, okay? Yer mom was abusing ya, then she physically abused ya, she tried to hurt ya, and did anyone try to stop her?” 

Kiyoomi’s eyes look distant, his hands turn white where they’re gripping his elbows, “Uh, my dad gave me an ice pack afterwards.” 

Atsumu frowns, “He was there?” 

Kiyoomi nods, “Yes, it was just them. My mom had just told me you had left, and I asked her what she had said to make you leave, and she hit me.” He reports this like he wasn’t there, like this was happening to a separate entity that he’s not a part of. 

“Baby, ya stayed for five days after she hit ya” 

Kiyoomi’s face flushes in shame, he ducks down as if to hide behind his hair, but it’s too short for it, “I suppose so.” 

He rubs his thumbs on his knees in hopes to calm him, “Ya could’ve left after that.” 

“No, I couldn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

Kiyoomi glares down at a point on the floor, “She’s still my mother, I can’t just leave without warning, my brother and sister’s were still there, and Tsubame.” He lets out a huff, “I can’t just stop and leave.” 

“I don’t think anyone would’ve blamed ya for leavin’ after that.” Atsumu soothes him, he doesn’t know if that’s what he needs to hear so he adds on for good measure, “I can’t say I get it, but I understand, family is family.” 

Kiyoomi wrinkles his nose, then relaxes typing his head back, staring at the ceiling, “I guess so. I bet I look foolish in your eyes, staying when I know it’s going to be the same, getting disappointed when it is. Still answering her calls when she remembers me... Did you know I met with that girl she wanted me to meet?”

Atsumu raises an eyebrow, “Ya did?” 

Kiyoomi hums, lost in thought, “It was three days after you left, and she kind of just threw it on me,” Atsumu scoffs, Kiyoomi ignores him, “It was one of the worst things that I’ve ever agreed to, not only was it unbearable because all I could think of was you,”There’s that sappy grin he can’t help, Kiyoomi keeps going looking a the ceiling, he laughs to himself, “Her family was there, and so was mine, all sat at the table. And I did not know what to do, my mother kept telling me to talk to her, and get to know her, but she get sending me looks like ‘I don’t want to be here either,’ so we ended up having the worst small talk ever, then after my mother was like ‘oh that went well!’” 

Atsumu can’t help but laugh a little at that. 

Kiyoomi looks at him then, he gives him a weak smile in turn, “I wanted to ask her if she’d been in the same room as me, but then she tried to set up another meeting for today.” 

“And you left?” 

“I left.” 

That’s where Atsumu loses it, pressing his face to his Kiyoomi’s knee, laughter muffled, thinking of Kiyoomi’s mother going to his room and seeing if he’s ready to meet this girl just to find him gone, he wonder if he left her a note, and that makes him laugh harder. 

“Are you done?” 

His laughter dies down eventually when he looks up Kiyoomi’s glaring down at him, he smiles widely up at him which gets him a frown and a flick on the forehead, he catches his hand before he can retreat, “This is mine now.” 

Kiyoomi gives him a look he likes to read as found and only for him, “It can’t be yours it’s attached to me.” 

“Barely,” Atsumu says, moving his weird wrist back and forth. 

Things seem to sober up after that, he keeps holding on to Kiyoomi’s wrist, sitting back on his legs, Atsumu rubs his thumb across the pale wrist, “I missed ya,” He finds himself saying, he presses a light kiss to the skin of his wrist. 

Kiyoomi’s hand brushes lightly through his hair, “I missed you too.” His hand just resting on the nape of his neck. “I am sorry.” 

Atsumu kisses his wrist again, “Ya have nothing to be sorry for. I should be the one apologizin’ for leavin’” Kiyoomi shakes his head sharply. 

“You don’t.” 

“Did ya brush yer teeth?” 

Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow, like do you even know me at all. Atsumu grins waiting for him to answer, “Yes.” 

“Great, ‘cause it feels like forever since I kissed ya.” 

“You just kissed me like three times,” He says like a smart ass. 

Atsumu wants to kiss him. 

He stands, pulling Kiyoomi to his feet, bringing his face close to his, “Shut up,” He says against his lips. 

“You’re the one--” 

Atsumu kisses him, slow and gentle with all the care he can put into a kiss, a hand on the side of his face, the other around his waist, Kiyoomi’s hand rests on the nape of his neck and on the arm that’s holding his face to his. 

Kiyoomi’s words muffled against his mouth before it turns into a sigh, it doesn’t turn into more, and Atsumu Isn't sure he even wants it to turn into more, he just wants this, this closeness, the touch he’s been yearning for since they left the city, he holds him impossibly closer. 

When it’s over they don’t move a way, their foreheads meet, Atsumu doesn’t dare open his eyes, staying in this moment, in this second a little longer. 

Kiyoomi presses a light kiss to his lips once more before he pulls back, Atsumu’s eyes blink open, Kiyoomi’s face looks calm, Atsumu can’t help but press his own kiss to his cheek. 

“Are ya tired?” His voice sounds rough, and deeper than normal. 

Kiyoomi nods, hiding a yawn in the sleeve of his shirt, Atsumu pulls him to the bed, letting him get settled under the covers before, he turns off the light by the door, “Do ya want to share, or I can sleep in Osamu’s bed.” 

Kiyoomi snags his hands, apparently done with words for today, pulling him towards the bed, he stumbles before getting in, it’s a tight fit but they manage, he stay facing each other, arms around one another loosely, as his eyes adjust he stares at him until he’s clearer. 

“Omi-kun.” He doesn’t get a reply but he knows he’s listening, he fixes the pillow under his head, “Are ya gonna keep answerin’ her calls?” 

Kiyoomi lets out a deep sigh, “I’m not sure, it’s complicated.” 

“Okay.” 

Kiyoomi’s quiet, then he’s whispering, like the dark is the only protection he needs to say what’s on his mind, the dark and maybe Atsumu. “This time I really did think it would be different, I hadn’t seen her since I was nineteen, I was so sure of myself that it wouldn’t turn out the same way as before, she wouldn’t treat me as a child still. 

“And I had you, so she wouldn’t do anything with guests around, but it was only worse, she didn’t care how long it had been, it was like she was storing it all up for me and me alone. I thought for sure my dad or Mio would see it and would help but…” His voice breaks off, Atsumu holds him tighter to him. 

“It’s okay if ya need ta cry, I’ve been cryin’ these past like five days, I won’t make fun of ya.” Atsumu runs his hands up and down his back, “I promise.” 

“I’m sick of crying, and panicking.”

“Me too,” He said honestly. “But it’s okay.” 

The tears eventually come for them both, just lightly going down their cheeks, they hold each other through it, it could be minutes or hours until their faces are red and without anymore tears to give. 

Kiyoomi’s silent but he’s there, and that means more than anything. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” 

Atsumu heart jerks in his chest, he presses a kiss to his forehead, then to each mole decorating it, “Always.” he’ll do everything in his power to make that true. 

Kiyoomi’s nose touches his before their lips meet for the barest second, he settles in his arm still around him, his eyelids losing the fight for rest. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, leave a comment if ya feel so inclined, i hope to write more soon for this ship.
> 
> have a lovely day, and thank you again for sticking with this fic! 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments keep me alive. 
> 
> my tumblr is: two-trucks-in-love
> 
> haikyuu has been wrecking my life since it ended, so i guess im dead. 
> 
> let me know if anything needs to be tagged as we go on as im dumby thicc and dont use my brain often. 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


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